OK, Ok, ok...need advice...sorry this isn't funny

Racer1930

Racer1930

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A good joke will be attached in the later portion of this complaint.

So I'm a guy - used to be married to a girl - we had fun. Hung together for 17 years and then she asked for a divorce. I was fixing to do the same thing but hadn't due to religious reasons - Anyway.

Now. After all the time that I have intentionally included myself into the kids' lives and haven't been an a**hole - and after not being included in the "decision" for my son to go to an out of state school - he went to LSU - my dear ex has told me that my son has over $20,000 in college debts. This is after I pitched in $500 a month for his living expenses (and actually gave him considerably more off-hand). I also gave thousands for tuition when due.

So my ex - is basically asking me for $10,000 when I had no input into the decision for him to go to an out of state school - pitch the ($3,000 a year) Georgia "Hope" Scholarship and go to an out of state university. I feel that I am being taxed without representation.

Nobody asked me about the decision to go to LSU. Moreover, I was told that it would be about the same price. Now....after many large payments that I have made along the way - that has shown that that is not true...I'm basically getting a $10,000 bill after already spending well over $30,000.

I have explained this as best I can - ask me any questions as I feel I am an honest broker - I would just ask your opinion.

I suppose I am leaning towards just paying the damned 10 grand and getting it over with - but I could really use that 10 in my retirement account. I ain't getting any younger.


take my wife...please...
 
not trying to be nosy, but not knowing where the 20 thou of debt came from, that would make a difference to me about paying along with the grade point average.
 
StandOnIt said:
not trying to be nosy, but not knowing where the 20 thou of debt came from, that would make a difference to me about paying along with the grade point average.
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Yep...agree...he actually had a decent grade point average in college...A-...but I have no idea of the accounting for the money...when my ex said we needed $3300 for tuition I just sent half of that - no questions asked.

Now this big extra debt has me flabbergasted...if she said she needed $400 to close out accounts - hell - I'd send the whole $400 to just get it over with.

Ten thousand dollars is a different story in my opinion....that's real money.
 
I would need more info myself, receipts, bills, something. With that GPA he might qualify for a tuition fee waiver scholarship, or something along those lines. If nothing else, he could bear part of the burden with a student loan, get a job, come to the party somehow.
 
Divorce is tough buisness and it is usually messy.
I am not sure how to undo what has transpired, and the following maybe to late.

For all future expenses I would ask for itemized bills, and at least a conversation to proactively determine who will pay for any future expenses.

The conversation maybe tough, you may need an unattached third party arbitrator. I think there are services that can help with this. We have a "life works" counseling benefit service at work, if you have acess they might could advise you all on how to establish a mutually beneficial agreement without expensive fees.

If ex and son refuse this proposal l would unemotionally advise them that I could no longer support the cause. If you are contributing you at least deserve to be informed.

I am sure it is tough alternative for you as well. But good stewardship is part of his education, learning to make good practical choices is a good thing. Much better than a blank check imo.
 
I would just like to semi-apologize for posting this. It was just personal stuff and I needed to vent. Everybody has troubles and mine are certainly no more trying than anybody else's.

Bottom line - I greatly appreciate a site like this that allows me to occasionally feel like I can express myself - without exposing my thoughts to family - which could cause troubles (I know none of them post here). And I appreciate the good thoughts and the comments. Just getting advice is therapy.

Anyway - I'll try to keep this personal stuff to a minimum - as I said - we all have problems - and mine are no more important than others.

Thanks. GO TONY !!
 
Tony1930 said:
I would just like to semi-apologize for posting this. It was just personal stuff and I needed to vent. Everybody has troubles and mine are certainly no more trying than anybody else's.

Bottom line - I greatly appreciate a site like this that allows me to occasionally feel like I can express myself - without exposing my thoughts to family - which could cause troubles (I know none of them post here). And I appreciate the good thoughts and the comments. Just getting advice is therapy.

Anyway - I'll try to keep this personal stuff to a minimum - as I said - we all have problems - and mine are no more important than others.

Thanks. GO TONY !!
Click to expand...

You havent done anything to apologize for IMO ..................... Except for rooting for Tony
 
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