A Police STOP at 2 AM

[dirtguru]

A Police STOP at 2 AM
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.
The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The man replies, "That would be my wife."

 

[SlowNeasy]

lol

 

[Whizzer]

W.C. Fields was quite a drinker and there are numerous stories about him as a result.
There is a story about W.C. Fields who was riding in his limo when he spotted a chap leaning against a light pole during a rain storm. Fields ordered his driver to stop and offer the chap a ride. When the chap got in the car, Fields offered him a drink and the guy said he was a preacher and he was going to give Fields his lecture #4 on the evils of alcohol. Fields leaned over the back seat and whispered instructions his driver stop at the next ditch he saw.
After a short distance, the driver stopped alongside a ditch whereupon, Fields tossed the preacher out of the car and into the water filled ditch along with a bottle of gin and said; "this is my lecture #3 on how to keep warm in a ditch.

W.C. Fileds was quite an entertainer and really a funny guy. He loved to say, "anyone who hates dogs and kids can't be all bad." The website gives a little of his background.

http://www.thecanteen.com/fields.html