S
sgbg88
Guest
I love this! Perfect for this time of year!
> A Turkey's life
>
> When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
> My big brother Tom took me out on the stoop,
> Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
> And he told me there was something that I had to know;
>
> His look and his tone I will always remember,
> When he told me of the horrors of.... Black November;
> "Come about August, now listen to me,
> Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three",
>
> "And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
> And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin";
>
> "And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
> In will burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head";
> "Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald 'n pink,
> And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lying' in the sink";
>
> "And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,
> "She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing".
> Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
> I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
>
> And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
> I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;
> I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
> High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
>
> And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
> I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;
> I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
> And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
>
> But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
> As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death
> And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
> I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
>
> So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
> I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap;
> She held me today, while sewing and humming,
> And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming..."
> A Turkey's life
>
> When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
> My big brother Tom took me out on the stoop,
> Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
> And he told me there was something that I had to know;
>
> His look and his tone I will always remember,
> When he told me of the horrors of.... Black November;
> "Come about August, now listen to me,
> Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three",
>
> "And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
> And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin";
>
> "And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
> In will burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head";
> "Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald 'n pink,
> And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lying' in the sink";
>
> "And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,
> "She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing".
> Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
> I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
>
> And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
> I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;
> I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
> High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
>
> And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
> I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;
> I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
> And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
>
> But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
> As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death
> And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
> I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
>
> So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
> I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap;
> She held me today, while sewing and humming,
> And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming..."
