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Australian Bricklayer Report:
Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's
accident report, which was printed in the
newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers'
Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guy died,
he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional
information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor
planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller
explanation and I trust the following details will be
sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the
accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story
building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks
left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of
500lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a
barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the
building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to
the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.
Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to
ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11
of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I
lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say,
I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the
vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding
downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull,
minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of
the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid
ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two
knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was
able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience
pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the
weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you
again to my weight.
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the
barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken
tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the
pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am
sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain,
unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and
let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its
journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry.
Kind Regards,
Mike Pashby
Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's
accident report, which was printed in the
newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers'
Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guy died,
he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional
information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor
planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller
explanation and I trust the following details will be
sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the
accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story
building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks
left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of
500lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a
barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the
building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to
the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.
Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to
ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11
of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I
lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say,
I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the
vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding
downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull,
minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of
the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid
ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two
knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was
able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience
pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the
weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you
again to my weight.
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the
barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken
tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the
pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am
sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain,
unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and
let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its
journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry.
Kind Regards,
Mike Pashby
