An Apology From Big Ten Country
Posted Dec 2nd 2007 10:03PM by Mark Hasty
Filed under: Ohio State Football, BCS, Bowl Games
We're sorry. We're really, dreadfully sorry. We didn't mean for our flea-bit, woebegone conference to send its champion to the BCS Title Game. Again.
This wasn't our plan, you know. We were supposed to go along with the theme of the season, as determined by ESPN back in July: "2007 USC Trojans: Greatest team of all time, or greatest team ever?" And we did our part. We made sure OSU didn't come through the conference schedule unblemished. It's just, well ... Stanford. Coached by a Michigan man, no less.
Yes, we know, we know. John David Booty was injured in that game. Again, not our fault, but we're really, dreadfully sorry. And while we're at it we'll go ahead and apologize to USC for their Rose Bowl opponent. You were supposed to get a squishy Michigan team that hadn't beaten anybody, but Wisconsin skeezixed that pretty well. Instead, you'll get the only team in the conference that actually did beat somebody. On the road, no less. We're quite apologetic.
We apologize for the Michigan coaching search as well. We really don't know what happened with the whole Les Miles thing. We're even less sure what happened with the whole Kirk Ferentz thing, either, except it happens every year about this time. (Secretly, we all wish we had his agent.) And while we're at it, we'll just apologize in advance for the pending "Stoops to Michigan" and "Kelly to Michigan" media circuses, along with the dreary "why doesn't anybody want to coach Michigan?" columns and talk-radio segments yet to come. And no, we're not done apologizing.
We apologize for not wholeheartedly embracing the spread offense as well. We actually have four teams that ran it. They finished 7-5, 7-5, 6-6, and 1-11. Ohio State won the conference running out of the power I. Iowa used an offensive playbook last seen in that old arcade game with the trackball and the Xs and Os. They finished ahead (in conference) of all the teams running the spread. Again, we can't explain this. We are sorry for being such bad citizens of the college football world.
Lastly we apologize to the rest of the college football world for sending such an unworthy challenger to the title game. By failing to provide a suitable challenge for LSU, we're going to leave lots of room for questioning whether some of the two-loss teams (or the one-loss Jayhawks, or the zero-loss Hawaii squad) weren't more deserving and might not have been able to beat the Tigers.
We regret the endless what-ifs this lamentable situation would engender. (We would apologize to the BCS for once again causing people to question its legitimacy, but why would anybody ever apologize to the BCS?) In fact, our entire attitude of contrition right now can probably be summed up in just three little words:
Neener-neener-neener.
Posted Dec 2nd 2007 10:03PM by Mark Hasty
Filed under: Ohio State Football, BCS, Bowl Games
We're sorry. We're really, dreadfully sorry. We didn't mean for our flea-bit, woebegone conference to send its champion to the BCS Title Game. Again.
This wasn't our plan, you know. We were supposed to go along with the theme of the season, as determined by ESPN back in July: "2007 USC Trojans: Greatest team of all time, or greatest team ever?" And we did our part. We made sure OSU didn't come through the conference schedule unblemished. It's just, well ... Stanford. Coached by a Michigan man, no less.
Yes, we know, we know. John David Booty was injured in that game. Again, not our fault, but we're really, dreadfully sorry. And while we're at it we'll go ahead and apologize to USC for their Rose Bowl opponent. You were supposed to get a squishy Michigan team that hadn't beaten anybody, but Wisconsin skeezixed that pretty well. Instead, you'll get the only team in the conference that actually did beat somebody. On the road, no less. We're quite apologetic.
We apologize for the Michigan coaching search as well. We really don't know what happened with the whole Les Miles thing. We're even less sure what happened with the whole Kirk Ferentz thing, either, except it happens every year about this time. (Secretly, we all wish we had his agent.) And while we're at it, we'll just apologize in advance for the pending "Stoops to Michigan" and "Kelly to Michigan" media circuses, along with the dreary "why doesn't anybody want to coach Michigan?" columns and talk-radio segments yet to come. And no, we're not done apologizing.
We apologize for not wholeheartedly embracing the spread offense as well. We actually have four teams that ran it. They finished 7-5, 7-5, 6-6, and 1-11. Ohio State won the conference running out of the power I. Iowa used an offensive playbook last seen in that old arcade game with the trackball and the Xs and Os. They finished ahead (in conference) of all the teams running the spread. Again, we can't explain this. We are sorry for being such bad citizens of the college football world.
Lastly we apologize to the rest of the college football world for sending such an unworthy challenger to the title game. By failing to provide a suitable challenge for LSU, we're going to leave lots of room for questioning whether some of the two-loss teams (or the one-loss Jayhawks, or the zero-loss Hawaii squad) weren't more deserving and might not have been able to beat the Tigers.
We regret the endless what-ifs this lamentable situation would engender. (We would apologize to the BCS for once again causing people to question its legitimacy, but why would anybody ever apologize to the BCS?) In fact, our entire attitude of contrition right now can probably be summed up in just three little words:
Neener-neener-neener.
Oh come on Buck, it's not like I was bragging saying we are gonna beat LSU or anything. 
