R
RoyalOrange
Guest
We now take you to a special Christmas Season episode of As the Wheel Turns.
This week, we will all find out what Santa is putting under the hoods of all of our favorite race cars.
Santa will be bringing Bobby Labonte some luck, and Todd Bodine a clue, and maybe some hair. Greg Biffle will be receiving a full year's supply of stockings, so he will always have something to pull down to hide his face. Rusty will be getting a Monopoly game, and his family will play with him and let him win. Fatback McSwain will receive coupons for Outback Steakhouse all you can eat night. Ricky Rudd will be getting boxing gloves. Mark Martin will receive a $25 gift certificate, redeemable at the pharmacy of his choice. Dale Jr. will receive a giant beer bong from Santa, just in time for all of the holiday parties, which will include DMP Bootleg Beer as your favorite holiday beverage.
(and if he's really good, he will get an autographed copy of Sheryl Crow's new CD). Jimmie Johnson will miss Santa's visit, simply because he was not ready. Jeff won't be getting much this year, because She Who Shall Not Be Named will be getting most of it. Ward Burton is getting the newest version of Hooked on Phonics. Jeff Burton will be getting free refills of gasoline at all Citgo stations. (and free oil changes too)
Ken Schrader will get nothing but M & M crumbs in his stocking this year, and that makes us all sad. Terry Labonte will get a discount at the local retirement home. (sorry)
Dale Jarrett will get free tickets to a Wayne Newton concert in Las Vegas. Santa himself will be escorting him, in none other the the Big Brown Sled. Jeremy Mayfield will get a big new bottle of Octane 93 for Men for Christmas this year. (and he wishes he could get that girl) Ryan Newman will get all of Rusty's attention and horsepower, just like he has all year. Jamie McMurray won't be asking for anything at all this year. He already has gotten every little thing his heart desires this past year....the ride, the win, the girl. (although a nice pack of Winston's wouldn't hurt him) Kurt Busch will get an ear tuck. Jimmy Spencer won't get anything but day old donuts. Michael Waltrip will get a 2003 atlas of the south, so he can find his way to all of the tracks. Boris Said will get a haircut. Finally, thank God. Jack Roush got his present earlier this year...the gift of life. (Santa is really Larry Hicks) Robbie Gordon will get an invitation to go to the IRL permanantly and hopefully he will accept it. Kyle Petty will receive a billion dollars from an anonymous donor for the Victory Junction Gang camp. (If I had it, I would send it to him). Santa will make Kevin Harvick remain Happy for the rest of his life. Old Saint Nick is gonna bring Kenny Wallace a thighmaster to go along with his Stacker 2. Mike Skinner will be getting a year's supply of Kodak film. He will get so much of it, in fact, he will give some to Tony Stewart for his brand new camera. And speaking of Tony's new camera....this just in....During Smoke's recent trip to the Big Apple, he was in Macy's Dept. Store, trying out the new camera, taking pictures of Santa, when he tripped over a small elf, knocking the elf into the fat man in the red suit (and no, I don't mean Jimmy Spencer)...
Santa fell over, accused Tony of shoving him, and filed a civil suit against him. Therefore, Tony ain't gettin nuttin for Christmas this year....(although I would be glad to trim his tree anytime).
Merry Christmas Race Fans......
Stay tuned to this board for future updates and special episodes of...As the Wheel Turns...
This week, we will all find out what Santa is putting under the hoods of all of our favorite race cars.
Santa will be bringing Bobby Labonte some luck, and Todd Bodine a clue, and maybe some hair. Greg Biffle will be receiving a full year's supply of stockings, so he will always have something to pull down to hide his face. Rusty will be getting a Monopoly game, and his family will play with him and let him win. Fatback McSwain will receive coupons for Outback Steakhouse all you can eat night. Ricky Rudd will be getting boxing gloves. Mark Martin will receive a $25 gift certificate, redeemable at the pharmacy of his choice. Dale Jr. will receive a giant beer bong from Santa, just in time for all of the holiday parties, which will include DMP Bootleg Beer as your favorite holiday beverage.
(and if he's really good, he will get an autographed copy of Sheryl Crow's new CD). Jimmie Johnson will miss Santa's visit, simply because he was not ready. Jeff won't be getting much this year, because She Who Shall Not Be Named will be getting most of it. Ward Burton is getting the newest version of Hooked on Phonics. Jeff Burton will be getting free refills of gasoline at all Citgo stations. (and free oil changes too)
Ken Schrader will get nothing but M & M crumbs in his stocking this year, and that makes us all sad. Terry Labonte will get a discount at the local retirement home. (sorry)
Dale Jarrett will get free tickets to a Wayne Newton concert in Las Vegas. Santa himself will be escorting him, in none other the the Big Brown Sled. Jeremy Mayfield will get a big new bottle of Octane 93 for Men for Christmas this year. (and he wishes he could get that girl) Ryan Newman will get all of Rusty's attention and horsepower, just like he has all year. Jamie McMurray won't be asking for anything at all this year. He already has gotten every little thing his heart desires this past year....the ride, the win, the girl. (although a nice pack of Winston's wouldn't hurt him) Kurt Busch will get an ear tuck. Jimmy Spencer won't get anything but day old donuts. Michael Waltrip will get a 2003 atlas of the south, so he can find his way to all of the tracks. Boris Said will get a haircut. Finally, thank God. Jack Roush got his present earlier this year...the gift of life. (Santa is really Larry Hicks) Robbie Gordon will get an invitation to go to the IRL permanantly and hopefully he will accept it. Kyle Petty will receive a billion dollars from an anonymous donor for the Victory Junction Gang camp. (If I had it, I would send it to him). Santa will make Kevin Harvick remain Happy for the rest of his life. Old Saint Nick is gonna bring Kenny Wallace a thighmaster to go along with his Stacker 2. Mike Skinner will be getting a year's supply of Kodak film. He will get so much of it, in fact, he will give some to Tony Stewart for his brand new camera. And speaking of Tony's new camera....this just in....During Smoke's recent trip to the Big Apple, he was in Macy's Dept. Store, trying out the new camera, taking pictures of Santa, when he tripped over a small elf, knocking the elf into the fat man in the red suit (and no, I don't mean Jimmy Spencer)...
Santa fell over, accused Tony of shoving him, and filed a civil suit against him. Therefore, Tony ain't gettin nuttin for Christmas this year....(although I would be glad to trim his tree anytime).
Merry Christmas Race Fans......
Stay tuned to this board for future updates and special episodes of...As the Wheel Turns...
