ATM instructions.

F

Flametamer

Guest
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine;
2. Put down your car window;
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN;
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw;
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt;
6. Put window up;
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine;
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine;
3. Set parking brake;
4. Put the window down;
5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card;
6. Turn the radio down;
7. Attempt to insert card into machine;
8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car;
9. Insert card;
10. Re-insert card the right way up;
11. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page;
12. Enter PIN;
13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN;
14. Enter amount of cash required;
15. Check make up in rear view mirror;
16. Retrieve cash and receipt;
17. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside;
18. Place receipt in back of checkbook;
19. Re-check make-up again;
20. Drive forwards 2 feet;
21. Reverse back to cash machine;
22. Retrieve card;
23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided;
24. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers in line behind you;
25. Restart stalled engine and pull off;
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles;
27. Release Parking Brake.
 
Originally posted by bowtie@Feb 18 2004, 08:16 PM
That one is gonna get you in trouble. :lol:
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What? all I try to do is be helpfull to the nice ladies on the forum and I get in trouble? Dang, I guess I better not post this photo of the Womans parking spot then!
 

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you just wish you were as complicated as us girls!!! :nyanya: :nyanya: :moon: :moon:

see us girls know what you guys are always thinking, I mean how could we not--it's only three things!! :p

But the fun thing is watching you whine like a 2 year old when you don't get any of the three :lol:
 
the same as the first one!! ;) your a guy you should know these things :p
 
Originally posted by 97forever@Feb 18 2004, 09:14 PM
Hold it!!! THREE things??? What the hell are the other two?? :unsure:
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You didn't know that man, they are all the same.
 
Originally posted by sgbg88@Feb 18 2004, 10:12 PM
you just wish you were as complicated as us girls!!!
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Who could argue with logic like that?


:wacko:
 
looking a little dizzy there EMP!! :p

Why make your life simple--it's soooo much fun keeping you guessing :lol:
 
seems like 97 needs to read that book him and Bow are always talking about!!! ^_^ Bow seems to be up to date :lol:
 
Originally posted by sgbg88@Feb 18 2004, 09:39 PM
seems like 97 needs to read that book him and Bow are always talking about!!! ^_^ Bow seems to be up to date :lol:
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OMG!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
Originally posted by sgbg88@Feb 18 2004, 10:37 PM
looking a little dizzy there EMP!! :p

Why make your life simple--it's soooo much fun keeping you guessing :lol:
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But therein lies the great secret of manhood.


After a certain point, usually about 30 seconds, we no longer care what you're trying to say. The best of us have gotten so good at it, you just think we're still listening. The lost art of nodding and saying "Uh huh" has saved the tattered remnants of men's sanity for years now.

(Sorry for divulging the great secret guys, but odds are she won't have heard it anyway...) :p
 
Oh we know alright!! Why do you think we still talk to you men!! We love to see how many nods and Uh huh's we can get!!! It's more fun that a barrell full of monkey's. But it's better if you save it for the when the game is on, that really gets them!!! ;) But what's really really great is when we ask the question and see that blank look on your face----"What did I just say?" I love to throw that in every now and then just to see the "look" :D :lol:



(sorry girls had to tell our little secret--but odds are they're still there just nodding and un huhing their self silly!!!) ^_^ :p
 
Yep, my wife says I never listen to her. At least I think thats what she said. :idunno:
 
Originally posted by sgbg88@Feb 18 2004, 09:12 PM
you just wish you were as complicated as us girls!!!
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Whoa, back the mood swings up for a second! you could not be more wrong! :p


MAN, I'M GLAD I'M A MAN, MAN

Everyday I give thanks to God
I was born a man instead of a broad
When Oprah comes on, I turn off the TV
I don't shave my legs, I stand up to pee
I go to a barber, not a beauty salon
Don't pluck out my eyebrows just to draw them back on
Don't wax my pubes so I can wear shorts
I use my turn signal, I understand sports

Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don't go through a faze every 28 days
Man, I'm glad I'm a man

I pay cash at the grocery, no checks or coupons
Don't take a lot of friends when I go the the john
I don't throw a fit when I break a nail
I don't buy a lot of shoes just because they're on sale
I don't apply makeup in my rear-view mirror
I don't think of Bambi when I'm out hunting deer
I drink beer from a bottle, not from a glass
I don't ask my friends about the size of my ass

Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don't face the pain of water-weight gain
Man, I'm glad I'm a man

Let me tell you ladies
Listen to me ladies
I love those things inside of your blouse
I love your pretty faces
Your warm and soft embraces
But if I had my own two boobs, I'd never leave the house

I don't spend two hours getting ready for a date
I don't play with dolls unless they inflate
When someone asks me my age, I never lie
After sex in bed, my spot's always dry
I don't read about orgasms in Vogue magazines
I don't mind if my dates try to get in my jeans
I don't spend a fortune on French lingerie
This is the same underwear I wore yesterday

Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don't take a pill, I don't use Massengill
Man, I'm glad I'm a man

Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I find Michael Bolton completely revoltin'
Man, I'm glad I'm a man
 
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