P
pbunch
Guest
Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans.
She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing
and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a man and fell
in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to
herself,"He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this
carrying on." She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work.
Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she
would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small
diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand.
Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off
any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the
diner and before she knew it,she had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt
reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to
see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling,I have a surprise for dinner
tonight."
He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated
herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife,
the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until
he returned. He then went to answer the telephone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the
pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out
of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and
let it go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned
the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and
ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears
tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for
another ten minutes. When the telephone farewells signaled the end of
her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed
it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.
She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing
for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that
she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!
There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a"Happy Birthday"!!!
She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing
and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a man and fell
in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to
herself,"He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this
carrying on." She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work.
Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she
would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small
diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand.
Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off
any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the
diner and before she knew it,she had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt
reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to
see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling,I have a surprise for dinner
tonight."
He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated
herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife,
the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until
he returned. He then went to answer the telephone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the
pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out
of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and
let it go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned
the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and
ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears
tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for
another ten minutes. When the telephone farewells signaled the end of
her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed
it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.
She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing
for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that
she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!
There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a"Happy Birthday"!!!
