Best way to start the day

[Whizzer]

A woman walked into a Walgreen's and asked the pharmacist; "Do you have any Viagra?"
The pharmacist answered, "yes."
The woman asked "does it work?" and again the pharmacist responded, "yes, it does."

The woman then asked, "can you get it over the counter?" to which the pharmacist replied, "I can if I take two."

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Then there is this and it matters little if it is true or not.

A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has filed legal action against St. Luke's Hospital. Ms. Maynard alleges her husband was there recently and has lost interest in sex.
When asked for comment, a hospital spokesman said; "Mr. Maynard was admitted as an opthalmology patient. All we did was correct his eyesight."

 

[FLRacingFan]

LOL

 

[pistolshooter]

Whizz are you feeling ok? First post I have seen from you that wasent gun or Obama related. You must be not feeling well

 

[Racer1930]

Two old fat winos are walking in the alley and they come across a stray dog that is licking his private pats.

Wino #1: "Man, I wish I could do that."

Wino #2: "Well I don't know - but you better pet him first."

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Retired woman who lost her husband a few years back likes to go to the yard sales and she buys an old copper lamp. When she gets home she decides to clean in up and when she rubs it - Whoosh! - out pops a Genie. Genie says "Thank you ma'am, for releasing me I grant you three wishes". She thinks about it and says - "well I don't need much but I would like to have the house paid off. It was one of our goals but my Tom passed away." Genie snaps his fingers and says "Done...the deed will be in your mailbox next week...your second wish?"

"Well the car is getting old and always needs repairs, could I have a new car?" Genie looks out the window in the driveway, snaps his fingers, and bingo - her old car is transformed into a brand new Mercedes. "For your last wish Ma'am?"

Lady says "Well Mr. Genie, this is kind of embarrassing...but it's been awhile... I'd like a man". Genie looks over at the cat resting on the sofa, snaps his fingers and "whoosh" it is transformed into a 6 foot tall handsome tanned young man. Then in a puff of smoke the Genie dissappears.

The lady is stunned at the muscular young man in her parlor. He walks over to her and winks and with a wry smile says "I bet you wish you didn't take me to the Vet now eh?"