It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance
policy. The new law stated that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a
really bummer day on the day that you died. The policy would go into effect at noon
the next day.
So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at
the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man, "Before I let you in,
I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
"No problem," the man said. I came home to my 25th-floor apartment on my lunch hour
and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was nowhere in sight. I
immediately began searching for him. My wife was half naked and yelling at me as I
searched the entire apartment.
Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and
noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of
that guy!
Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the
ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his
fall and he didn't die.
This ticked me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I
could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of
was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it
over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment
was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It
was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of
Heaven," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it was Donald
Trump. "Mr.Trump, before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was
like when you died."
Trump said, "No problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony
of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of
pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little
carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side!
Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But
all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing,
and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the
bottom, which broke my fall, so I didn't die right away. But as I'm laying there
face up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push
his refrigerator of all things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on
top of me, killing me instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump finishes his story. "I could get
used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces.
"Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets Trump enter.
A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is almost too
shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour through the Angel's head.
Finally he says "Mr. President, please tell me what it was like the day you died."
Clinton says, "OK, picture this, I'm naked inside a refrigerator...
policy. The new law stated that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a
really bummer day on the day that you died. The policy would go into effect at noon
the next day.
So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at
the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man, "Before I let you in,
I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
"No problem," the man said. I came home to my 25th-floor apartment on my lunch hour
and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was nowhere in sight. I
immediately began searching for him. My wife was half naked and yelling at me as I
searched the entire apartment.
Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and
noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of
that guy!
Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the
ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his
fall and he didn't die.
This ticked me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I
could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of
was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it
over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment
was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It
was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of
Heaven," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it was Donald
Trump. "Mr.Trump, before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was
like when you died."
Trump said, "No problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony
of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of
pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little
carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side!
Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But
all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing,
and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the
bottom, which broke my fall, so I didn't die right away. But as I'm laying there
face up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push
his refrigerator of all things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on
top of me, killing me instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump finishes his story. "I could get
used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces.
"Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets Trump enter.
A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is almost too
shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour through the Angel's head.
Finally he says "Mr. President, please tell me what it was like the day you died."
Clinton says, "OK, picture this, I'm naked inside a refrigerator...
