T
TN-Ward-Fan
Guest
Obviously, these work on any team, just change the require details. I'll pick on my favorite target though....
Q: Did you hear about the big fire at the University of Tennessee?
A: Yeah, completely destroyed 17 buildings. Caused almost a thousand dollars in damage.
Q: When the UT library flooded, why were only half of the books replaced?
A: Insurance didn't cover the ones that had already been colored in.
Q: What's the best thing to ever come out of Knoxville TN?
A: Interstate 40.
Q: Why is the suicide rate in Knoxville TN so low?
A: Because you can't kill yourself by jumping out the window of a trailer.
Q: What does a UT graduate say at work?
A: You want fries with that?
A team of robotics engineers had worked tirelessly to perfect the world's first interactive robot, the XJ-27. To test it, they tool it to a park and turned it loose.
The robot approached a man sitting under a tree and said, "Good afternoon, I am XJ-27, the world's first interactive robot. What is your IQ?" "150," replied the man. "Excellent, shall we discuss physics?" After a few minutes, the robot left, having thoroughly impressed the scientists.
A young lady sitting at a picnic table was approached, with the same greeting. "120," was her reply. "Excellent. Shall we discuss world politics?" said the robot. Again, the scientists beamed with pride.
Next, a man eating his lunch was approached, again with the same greeting. "65", was his answer. XJ-27 then boomed, "Well, how 'bout them Vols?!!!"
And my own personal favorite....
The University of Tennessee had been under some scrutiny for its policies dealing with athlete academics. To cure this problem, they decided to award Peyton Manning an Honorary Doctorate Degree. They opened Neyland Stadium to the public, which quickly filled with over 100,000 orange clad admirers.
Eventually, the president of the University came to the microphone and said, "We are here today to bestow this Honorary Doctorate Degree upon one of our finest student athletes, Peyton Manning. Now, as many of you know, UT has been under fire lately regarding the quality of education we provide our football players, so before we give Peyton this degree, we are going to have him answer a few questions."
Peyton walks to the podium as an expectant hush falls.
"Peyton, what is two plus two?"
"Four", he answers confidently.
And the entire crowd yells, "Aww, give him another chance!!!!"
Q: Did you hear about the big fire at the University of Tennessee?
A: Yeah, completely destroyed 17 buildings. Caused almost a thousand dollars in damage.
Q: When the UT library flooded, why were only half of the books replaced?
A: Insurance didn't cover the ones that had already been colored in.
Q: What's the best thing to ever come out of Knoxville TN?
A: Interstate 40.
Q: Why is the suicide rate in Knoxville TN so low?
A: Because you can't kill yourself by jumping out the window of a trailer.
Q: What does a UT graduate say at work?
A: You want fries with that?
A team of robotics engineers had worked tirelessly to perfect the world's first interactive robot, the XJ-27. To test it, they tool it to a park and turned it loose.
The robot approached a man sitting under a tree and said, "Good afternoon, I am XJ-27, the world's first interactive robot. What is your IQ?" "150," replied the man. "Excellent, shall we discuss physics?" After a few minutes, the robot left, having thoroughly impressed the scientists.
A young lady sitting at a picnic table was approached, with the same greeting. "120," was her reply. "Excellent. Shall we discuss world politics?" said the robot. Again, the scientists beamed with pride.
Next, a man eating his lunch was approached, again with the same greeting. "65", was his answer. XJ-27 then boomed, "Well, how 'bout them Vols?!!!"
And my own personal favorite....
The University of Tennessee had been under some scrutiny for its policies dealing with athlete academics. To cure this problem, they decided to award Peyton Manning an Honorary Doctorate Degree. They opened Neyland Stadium to the public, which quickly filled with over 100,000 orange clad admirers.
Eventually, the president of the University came to the microphone and said, "We are here today to bestow this Honorary Doctorate Degree upon one of our finest student athletes, Peyton Manning. Now, as many of you know, UT has been under fire lately regarding the quality of education we provide our football players, so before we give Peyton this degree, we are going to have him answer a few questions."
Peyton walks to the podium as an expectant hush falls.
"Peyton, what is two plus two?"
"Four", he answers confidently.
And the entire crowd yells, "Aww, give him another chance!!!!"
