Cowboy Goes To Church

C

carsntunes

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One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin.Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out bible.

The Church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen.
The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and
accessories.

As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it. The preacher gave a long sermon
about Hellfire and brimstone and a stern lecture on how much money the church needed to do God's work.

As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor. "Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what He thinks would be appropriate attire for worship."

The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.

The next Sunday, he showed up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again he was completely shunned and ignored. The preacher approached the man and said, "I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church."

"I did," replied the old cowboy.

"If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper attire should be for worshiping in here?" asked the preacher.

"Well, sir, God told me that He didn't have a clue what I should wear. He says He's never been in this church before, either.
 
During the North African Campagne,
a bunch of soldier boys had been on a long hike,
and they arrived in a little town callled Casino.
The next morning, being Sunday,several of the boys went to church.
A Sargent commanded the boys in church,
and after the chaplain had read the prayer,
the text was taken up next.
Those of the boys who had a prayer books took them out,
but, this one boyhad only a deck of cards,
and so he spread them out.
The Sargent saw the cards and said, "Soldier, put away those cards".
After the services were over, the soldier was taken prisoner,
and brought before the Provost Marshall.
The marshall said " Sergeant, why have you brought this man here?"
"For playing cards in church Sir."
"And what have you to say for yourself Son?"
"Much, Sir," replied the soldier.
The marshall said, " I hope so, for if not,
I shall punish you more than any man was ever punished."
The soldier said, "Sir, I have been on the march for about six days,
I have neither Bible nor prayerbook, but I hope to satisfy you, Sir,
with the purity of my intentions."
And with that, the boy started his story.
"You see sir, when I look at the Ace,
it reminds me that there is but one God,
and the deuce, reminds me that the bible is divided
into two parts, the old and the new testament.
When I see the trey, I think of the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.
And when I see the four,I think of the four Evangelists who preached
the Gospel There was Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
And when I see the five, it reminds me of the five wise virgins
who trimmed their lamps, there were ten of them,
Five were wise and were saved, five were foolish,
and were shut out.
When I see the six, it reminds me that in six days,
God made this great Heaven and Earth.
When I see the seven, it reminds me that on the seventh day,
God rested from His great work.
And when I see the eight, I think of the eight rightous persons
God saved when he destroyed this Earth.
There was Noah, his wife, their three sons, and their wives.
And when I see the nine, I think of the lepers our Saviour cleansed,
and, nine out of the ten, didn't even thank him.
When I see the ten, I think of the ten commandments,
God handed down to Moses on a table of stone.
When I see the king, it reminds me that there is but one King of Heaven,
God Almighty.
And when I see the Queen, I think of the Blessed Virgin Mary,
Who is Queen of Heaven, and the Jack of Knaves is the Devil.
When I count the number of spots in a deck of cards,
I find 365, the number of days in a year.
There are 52 cards, the number of weeks in a year.
There are four suits, the number of weeks in a month.
There are twelve picture cards, the number of months in a year.
There are thirteen tricks, the number of weeks in a quarter.
So, you see Sir, my pack of cards serves me as a Bible,
an Almanac, and a prayerbook.
And Friends, the story is true, I know,
I was that soldier.
Click to expand...
 
How many follow 1 Timothy 2:9-10 to dress modestly. Too often folks want to turn church into a fashion affair forgetting that your clothing should not be a stumbling block for believers or unbelievers.

But then this is the joke site so I'll step off... :)
 
I'd be more interested in what cloths one should wear to keep that god from giving me a terrible disease..
Betsy:rolleyes:
 
So selfish. Did you ever stop to think that that terrible disease you're complaining about might have asked God for a new home, and food for her children?
 
Betsy said:
I'd be more interested in what cloths one should wear to keep that god from giving me a terrible disease..
Betsy:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

There was a program on Discovery (or some such) about Taboo: Nudity. In it they discussed those of faith that practice naturalism and go to church naked. They showed some of the services. It was quiet enlightening.
If one were to take that to heart then it is the occurence of lust in one's eyes rather than the actual dress. Tho' some feel that modest clothing shouldn't arouse the senses. While men may wear tshirts and gym shorts while engaging in sports they are hardly appropriate for service. Likewise women who wear spaghetti strap dresses or short dresses. In Proverbs 7:10 the Scripture has a warning to a young man against immorality: "And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart".

But this should probably be taking place in the podium.
 
Hey BP

barelypure said:
There was a program on Discovery (or some such) about Taboo: Nudity. In it they discussed those of faith that practice naturalism and go to church naked. They showed some of the services. It was quiet enlightening.
If one were to take that to heart then it is the occurence of lust in one's eyes rather than the actual dress. Tho' some feel that modest clothing shouldn't arouse the senses. While men may wear tshirts and gym shorts while engaging in sports they are hardly appropriate for service. Likewise women who wear spaghetti strap dresses or short dresses. In Proverbs 7:10 the Scripture has a warning to a young man against immorality: "And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart".

But this should probably be taking place in the podium.
Click to expand...

That's a really good argument for NEVER wearng clothes except for avoiding the temperature. Arousing the senses is how we ALL got here in the first place.
Betsy:rolleyes:
 
But, if you really think about it, .......your brain activity increases.
 
barelypure said:
Don't know about that. Sometimes the blood rushes from my head to, shall we say other areas, making decision making questionable... :eek:
Click to expand...

And it makes walking damn near impossible.....for me anyway :D
 
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