A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is
clear."
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-,_
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says,
"Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The
second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's
me!"
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens
the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is
really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does
so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her
head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde
replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-
>
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly
says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's
the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy:
W."
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-*
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
government
class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was
about.
Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision
George
Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.--:*
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
radio, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the
K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran
out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then
sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I
come home to find
all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they
do?
They send me a BLIND policeman."
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is
clear."
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-,_
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says,
"Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The
second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's
me!"
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens
the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is
really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does
so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her
head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde
replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-
>
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly
says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's
the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy:
W."
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-*
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
government
class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was
about.
Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision
George
Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.--:*
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
radio, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the
K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran
out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then
sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I
come home to find
all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they
do?
They send me a BLIND policeman."