NASCAR and the power of Mickey Mouse
By Greg Engle
EDITOR'S NOTE: Our pal Greg Engle of Cup Scene Daily has obviously been caught too many times in too much traffic on Florida's Interstate 4 between Daytona International Speedway and Disney World. All that time spent stuck between carloads of tourists bound for Orlando's attractions and those for which Daytona Beach is famous have taken their toll. But at least he's letting us in on it.
Now that ABC/ESPN have taken over the television rights package to the second half of the NASCAR season, we can finally give a view on the inside of the intense negotiations that went on for the TV broadcast rights.
Not really of course this is just my take on it.
As you may or may not know, the parent company of ABC/ESPN is Disney…yes that’s right, the same folks who brought you ‘It’s a small world after all’ (and now you too will have that song stuck in your head the rest of the day) and charge you the same amount as a monthly car payment to stand in long lines in brutal heat just to watch your kids hug an oversized mouse.
Disney of course had an evil plot to take over the world several years ago only to have it thwarted by Wal-Mart (whose motto is ‘It’s Our World, Your Just Live In It’). The "House that Sam Walton Built," as you know, has the ultimate goal of forcing everyone in America to wear silly blue vests and yellow “happy face” buttons.
Disney, now hoping to regain its former greatness, pulled out all the stops and reportedly will pay 284 ‘gazillion’ dollars for the TV rights. Of course those are Disney dollars which can only be spent on Disney property, but none of the NASCAR lawyers caught that before the contract was signed, prompting one to say, “Dang.”
There were other ‘small’ concessions made by NASCAR in order to secure this very lucrative package. Chief among them is that Disney will allow a team owner to have up to five teams, as long as they’re named, “Dopey”, “Sleepy”, “Doc”, “Sneezy” and ‘Bashful”.
Other concessions:
Jack Roush can continue to wear his famous trademark hat; it just has to have ears sticking out of the sides and ‘Uncle Jack” embroidered on the back.
‘Herbie the Love Bug’ will be given a champion’s provisional and will make the field of every race.
All drivers will have to wait in line just like everyone else will.
All driver uniforms, while still reflecting their individual sponsors, will be required to have a Disney-related theme: for example, Tony Stewart will be ‘Tigger’, Michael Waltrip will be the bear from “Bear in the Big Blue House”, Bobby Hamilton Jr. will be “Donald Duck”, Carl Edwards “Goofy” and Matt Kenseth will be “Pooh”.
There will be warning stickers on each car reminding drivers to ‘keep their hands and arms inside the car at all times’ and ‘Women who are pregnant or people with back, neck or heart problems should refrain from using this ride’.
There will be no more ‘Victory Lane’, it will be known as “The Happy Place’.
Reaction to all the new changes was decidedly mixed at NASCAR headquarters in Daytona Beach.
“I don’t mind Disney begin around too much,” said one admistrative assistant who wished to remain anonymous because of "them."
"It’s just that now they’ve changed the Musak to all Disney all the time and that can get rather irritating…I mean I’ve heard all 145 different versions of the theme from the ‘Little Mermaid’…although the Korean version is kind of snappy.”
A new day is dawning in NASCAR boys and girls…so,
M-I-C, See you real soon! K-E-Y, Why?
Because Wal-Mart said so.
A tongue in cheek article from KnowYourNascar
By Greg Engle
EDITOR'S NOTE: Our pal Greg Engle of Cup Scene Daily has obviously been caught too many times in too much traffic on Florida's Interstate 4 between Daytona International Speedway and Disney World. All that time spent stuck between carloads of tourists bound for Orlando's attractions and those for which Daytona Beach is famous have taken their toll. But at least he's letting us in on it.
Now that ABC/ESPN have taken over the television rights package to the second half of the NASCAR season, we can finally give a view on the inside of the intense negotiations that went on for the TV broadcast rights.
Not really of course this is just my take on it.
As you may or may not know, the parent company of ABC/ESPN is Disney…yes that’s right, the same folks who brought you ‘It’s a small world after all’ (and now you too will have that song stuck in your head the rest of the day) and charge you the same amount as a monthly car payment to stand in long lines in brutal heat just to watch your kids hug an oversized mouse.
Disney of course had an evil plot to take over the world several years ago only to have it thwarted by Wal-Mart (whose motto is ‘It’s Our World, Your Just Live In It’). The "House that Sam Walton Built," as you know, has the ultimate goal of forcing everyone in America to wear silly blue vests and yellow “happy face” buttons.
Disney, now hoping to regain its former greatness, pulled out all the stops and reportedly will pay 284 ‘gazillion’ dollars for the TV rights. Of course those are Disney dollars which can only be spent on Disney property, but none of the NASCAR lawyers caught that before the contract was signed, prompting one to say, “Dang.”
There were other ‘small’ concessions made by NASCAR in order to secure this very lucrative package. Chief among them is that Disney will allow a team owner to have up to five teams, as long as they’re named, “Dopey”, “Sleepy”, “Doc”, “Sneezy” and ‘Bashful”.
Other concessions:
Jack Roush can continue to wear his famous trademark hat; it just has to have ears sticking out of the sides and ‘Uncle Jack” embroidered on the back.
‘Herbie the Love Bug’ will be given a champion’s provisional and will make the field of every race.
All drivers will have to wait in line just like everyone else will.
All driver uniforms, while still reflecting their individual sponsors, will be required to have a Disney-related theme: for example, Tony Stewart will be ‘Tigger’, Michael Waltrip will be the bear from “Bear in the Big Blue House”, Bobby Hamilton Jr. will be “Donald Duck”, Carl Edwards “Goofy” and Matt Kenseth will be “Pooh”.
There will be warning stickers on each car reminding drivers to ‘keep their hands and arms inside the car at all times’ and ‘Women who are pregnant or people with back, neck or heart problems should refrain from using this ride’.
There will be no more ‘Victory Lane’, it will be known as “The Happy Place’.
Reaction to all the new changes was decidedly mixed at NASCAR headquarters in Daytona Beach.
“I don’t mind Disney begin around too much,” said one admistrative assistant who wished to remain anonymous because of "them."
"It’s just that now they’ve changed the Musak to all Disney all the time and that can get rather irritating…I mean I’ve heard all 145 different versions of the theme from the ‘Little Mermaid’…although the Korean version is kind of snappy.”
A new day is dawning in NASCAR boys and girls…so,
M-I-C, See you real soon! K-E-Y, Why?
Because Wal-Mart said so.
A tongue in cheek article from KnowYourNascar
