Bucky Badger
Go Kyle Go
If Dogs Sent Letters to God...
>
> Dear God,
> Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if
> ever, smell one another?
>
> Dear God,
> When we get to heaven, can we sit on your
> couch? Or is it the same old story?
>
> Dear God,
> Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the
> cougar, the mustang, the
> colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
> named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We
> dogs love a nice ride!
>
> Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle'
> the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
>
> Dear God,
> If a dog barks his head off in the forest and
> no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
>
> Dear God,
> We dogs can understand human verbal
> instructions, hand signals,
> whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's,electromagnetic energy
> fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
>
> Dear God,
> More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
>
> Dear God,
> When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to
> shake hands to get in?
>
> Dear God,
> Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will
> I have to apologize?
>
> Dear God,
> Let me give you a list of just some of the
> things I must remember to be a good dog:
>
> I will not eat the cats' food before they eat
> it or after they throw it up.
>
> I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
> like the way they smell.
>
> I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although
> they are tasty, they are not food.
>
> The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
>
> The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
>
> - The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
>
> - My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
>
> > - I will not bite the officer's hand when he
> > reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
>
> I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.
>
> Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of
saying
> 'hello.'
>
> - I do not need to suddenly stand straight up
> when I'm lying under the coffee table.
>
> >- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the
> house.
>
> - I will not throw up in the car.
>
> I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across
> the carpet.
>
> - I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch
when
> company is over.
>
> The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play
> with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
>
> Dear God,
> May I have my testicles back?
>
>
> Dear God,
> Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if
> ever, smell one another?
>
> Dear God,
> When we get to heaven, can we sit on your
> couch? Or is it the same old story?
>
> Dear God,
> Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the
> cougar, the mustang, the
> colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
> named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We
> dogs love a nice ride!
>
> Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle'
> the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
>
> Dear God,
> If a dog barks his head off in the forest and
> no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
>
> Dear God,
> We dogs can understand human verbal
> instructions, hand signals,
> whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's,electromagnetic energy
> fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
>
> Dear God,
> More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
>
> Dear God,
> When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to
> shake hands to get in?
>
> Dear God,
> Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will
> I have to apologize?
>
> Dear God,
> Let me give you a list of just some of the
> things I must remember to be a good dog:
>
> I will not eat the cats' food before they eat
> it or after they throw it up.
>
> I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
> like the way they smell.
>
> I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although
> they are tasty, they are not food.
>
> The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
>
> The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
>
> - The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
>
> - My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
>
> > - I will not bite the officer's hand when he
> > reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
>
> I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.
>
> Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of
saying
> 'hello.'
>
> - I do not need to suddenly stand straight up
> when I'm lying under the coffee table.
>
> >- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the
> house.
>
> - I will not throw up in the car.
>
> I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across
> the carpet.
>
> - I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch
when
> company is over.
>
> The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play
> with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
>
> Dear God,
> May I have my testicles back?
>
