DVR Technology taken a little to far

mike honcho

mike honcho

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It won't be long before our televisions are watching us.
You don't have to be paranoid or even a privacy expert to find this development a little creepy. Verizon has filed a patent on a new DVR technology that works by filming and recording viewers in order to send them targeted ads through their TV's.
"If detection facility detects one or more words spoken by a user (e.g., while talking to another user within the same room or on the telephone), advertising facility may utilize the one or more words spoken by the user to search for and/or select an advertisement associated with the one or more words," Verizon states in its application,which was first reported by Fierce Cable.
The patent was actually filed by Verizon in 2011 but the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office isn't required to release patent filings for 18 months.
And before you dismiss concerns over the new technology, which works as a software application, just consider two of the examples Verizon gives of how its new DVR technology could be used: sounds of couples arguing would trigger ads for marriage counseling while sounds of "cuddling" would prompt ads for contraceptives.
All together, the patent filing listed 20 examples, or "claims," of when the DVR technology could be used for the application, which is entitled, "Methods and Systems for Presenting an Advertisement Associated with an Ambient Action of a User."
As ArsTechnica points out, Verizon is not alone is filing patents of this nature. Comcast filed a similar patent in 2008 for using technology that would deliver ads based on which people were in a room at a given time. And in 2007, Google filed a patent for its Google TV service that would use cameras and audio recording devices to determine how many people were simultaneously watching a program.
 
Well we knew Big Brother was acomin but I didnt know he was this close to being in my house, RV and boat. Guess I could trash the DVRs and go back to a HD box but they would just find a way into the HD box. I am aware that this isnt the podium but if it smells, tastes, walks and talks like socialism then it must be.
 
I suppose if one feels they must possess (or be possessed by) one of these spy boxes, they could at least make use of a few pieces of tape.
 
Well it is tough to deal with all the intrusiveness. My TV DVR set up became such a beast that it downloaded all of the specs to every item in the house back to their DVR server headquarters.

Then aliens (not the Mexicans kind) started redoing all of my house furniture appliances, and components replacing the originals with almost exact replicas while I was at work. They recreated all items back to 1/1000th on my hand mic, but even with their craftsmanship it was still an upsetting violation of privacy . In addition the police don't take the invasion seriously.

I even buried the DVR outside, and used transmitters to restrict their spying capabilities as it signaled only my tv. I even urinated routinely on the spot, to tactfully compel the spy cameras inside that I wasn't happy.

But the DVR evidently had already deployed additional cameras and the replications continued .Finally after detecting that the little SOBs were recreating my wife's underwear I had enough of the violations. Those items were hand selected by me and sacred
So I waited several nights with a 12 gauge in the back yard while sending up a brilliantly illuminated finger into the skyline to let em know I wasn't playing , this time they then realized I meant business.

As their spacecraft hovered over my property , I commenced to verbally beating the crap of them and intensely giving them the finger. I was putting it on rough and heavy,"bring your sorry copy cat Uranus-ous out here, yada yada". But I never expected their next move.

Next thing I knew I watched myself or at least a replica of my selves descending from the spacecraft , and he was a better sheet talker than me too. He told me that he could internally blow my brains out with my own 12 gauge by sticking it up my innards to do the job. He also spoke perfect redneck with the dialect of the place I was born (Sick Dog county, Georgia).

Well I knew the better man had won, and I apologized profuseiously as possible. To show there was no hard feelings he gave me a lifetime supply of Cheetos. But these are magically treated, they don't stick to fingers, computer keyboards or leave cheesy rashes on my private parts. There wonderful and the wife thinks I just work harder to be neat with the blessed magic Cheetos.

All in all a worthwhile experience, and based on my expert experience there is nothing to worry about. Please share these facts with your family and dearest friends to assure them there is nothing to be concerned about.
 
They'll never get me!

tin-foil-hat.jpg
 
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