East Texas Humor
>>
>>
>> #1
>> The owner of a golf course in Lufkin was confused about paying an
>> invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
>> He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the
>> University of Texas, and I need some help. If I were to give you
>> $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
>> The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my
>> earrings."
>>
>> (You gotta love those East Texas women.)
>> ********************************************
>> #2
>> A group of Tyler friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for
>> the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under
>> the weight of an eight-point buck.
>> "Where's Henry?" the others asked.
>> "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
>> trail," the successful hunter replied.
>> "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they
>> inquired.
>> "A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to
>> steal Henry."
>> **********************************************
>> #3
>> A senior at Texas A&M was overheard saying...
>> "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in East Texas."
>> When asked why, he replied "Because everything happens in East Texas 20
>> years later than in the rest of the civilized world."
>> **********************************************
>> #4
>> The young man from Texas A&M came running into the store and said to
>> his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the
>> parking lot!"
>> Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
>> The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license
>> number."
>> **********************************************
>> #5
>> NEWS FLASH! - Bryan/College Station's worst disaster occurred when a
>> small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Texas A&M students,
>> crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have
>> recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging
>> continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived and are
>> helping in the recovery efforts.
>> **********************************************
>> #6
>> A Texas State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-20.
>> The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
>> The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
>> ********************************************
>> #7
>> A man in Tyler had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and
>> proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind
>> it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as
>> he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked
>> the fellow what the problem was.
>>
>> The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
>> The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
>> The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in
>> the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.
>>
>>
>
>
>>
>>
>> #1
>> The owner of a golf course in Lufkin was confused about paying an
>> invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
>> He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the
>> University of Texas, and I need some help. If I were to give you
>> $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
>> The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my
>> earrings."
>>
>> (You gotta love those East Texas women.)
>> ********************************************
>> #2
>> A group of Tyler friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for
>> the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under
>> the weight of an eight-point buck.
>> "Where's Henry?" the others asked.
>> "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
>> trail," the successful hunter replied.
>> "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they
>> inquired.
>> "A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to
>> steal Henry."
>> **********************************************
>> #3
>> A senior at Texas A&M was overheard saying...
>> "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in East Texas."
>> When asked why, he replied "Because everything happens in East Texas 20
>> years later than in the rest of the civilized world."
>> **********************************************
>> #4
>> The young man from Texas A&M came running into the store and said to
>> his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the
>> parking lot!"
>> Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
>> The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license
>> number."
>> **********************************************
>> #5
>> NEWS FLASH! - Bryan/College Station's worst disaster occurred when a
>> small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Texas A&M students,
>> crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have
>> recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging
>> continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived and are
>> helping in the recovery efforts.
>> **********************************************
>> #6
>> A Texas State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-20.
>> The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
>> The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
>> ********************************************
>> #7
>> A man in Tyler had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and
>> proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind
>> it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as
>> he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked
>> the fellow what the problem was.
>>
>> The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
>> The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
>> The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in
>> the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.
>>
>>
>
>
lol (thats only 30 years...)