Whizzer
Gig'em
Last year, taxpayers received Economic Stimulus Payment.
This was a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A
format:
"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to
taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.
"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
"A. No, they are borrowing it from China . You children are
expected to repay the Chinese.
"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
"A. Shut up."
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy
by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to
China .
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the
Arabs and Al Queda
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan .
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras , and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea .
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India
If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria .
And none of it will help the American economy.
"resolve to be tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged,
sympathetic with the striving,
and tolerant with the weak and the wrong.
sometime in life you will have been all of these."
- bob goddard
This was a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A
format:
"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to
taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.
"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
"A. No, they are borrowing it from China . You children are
expected to repay the Chinese.
"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
"A. Shut up."
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy
by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to
China .
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the
Arabs and Al Queda
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan .
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras , and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea .
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India
If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria .
And none of it will help the American economy.
"resolve to be tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged,
sympathetic with the striving,
and tolerant with the weak and the wrong.
sometime in life you will have been all of these."
- bob goddard
