FOOD SPOILAGE TESTS
EGGS: Probably past their prime when something starts pecking its way out of the shell.
MAYONNAISE: If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.
FROZEN FOODS: If they've become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer, they're probably spoiled.
MEAT: If opening your refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three block radius to gather outside your house, the meat is spoiled.
BREAD: Sesame seeds and poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy, hairy-looking white or green growth areas are a good indication your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical lab experiment.
FLOUR: Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.
SALT: Salt never spoils. Trust us on this.
LETTUCE: Iceberg lettuce is spoiled when you can't scrape it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without a household cleaner. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when you can pour it into a glass.
CANNED GOODS: Any canned good that has become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of ... carefully. Very carefully!
RAISINS: Raisins should not be any harder than your teeth.
POTATOES: Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.
CHIP DIP: If you can take it out of the container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.
UNMARKED ITEMS: When you're tempted to throw the container as well as the food inside of it away, it is well beyond its prime.
EXPIRATION DATE RULE: Expiration dates are NOT marketing ploys so you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen. Failing that, follow the general rule of thumb.
GENERAL RULE OF THUMB: Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a goldfish. Keep a goldfish near your refrigerator to gauge this.
EGGS: Probably past their prime when something starts pecking its way out of the shell.
MAYONNAISE: If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.
FROZEN FOODS: If they've become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer, they're probably spoiled.
MEAT: If opening your refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three block radius to gather outside your house, the meat is spoiled.
BREAD: Sesame seeds and poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy, hairy-looking white or green growth areas are a good indication your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical lab experiment.
FLOUR: Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.
SALT: Salt never spoils. Trust us on this.
LETTUCE: Iceberg lettuce is spoiled when you can't scrape it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without a household cleaner. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when you can pour it into a glass.
CANNED GOODS: Any canned good that has become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of ... carefully. Very carefully!
RAISINS: Raisins should not be any harder than your teeth.
POTATOES: Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.
CHIP DIP: If you can take it out of the container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.
UNMARKED ITEMS: When you're tempted to throw the container as well as the food inside of it away, it is well beyond its prime.
EXPIRATION DATE RULE: Expiration dates are NOT marketing ploys so you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen. Failing that, follow the general rule of thumb.
GENERAL RULE OF THUMB: Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a goldfish. Keep a goldfish near your refrigerator to gauge this.
