Funny Thing That I Heard at the Track

A

abooja

Guest
Great story here about Dale Earnhardt:

http://www.arsracing.com/grandstandbob/overheard.html

Funny Thing That I Heard at the Track
by Grandstand Bob

As I’ve said many times before, you don’t know what you’re missing during a race until you take advantage of the opportunity to use a scanner. A few weeks ago, I asked fans to share their favorite scanner exchanges, as I did in that column.

The following is what I received. With the exception of a couple, I removed the name to protect the innocent. Yes, it would be more interesting to hear who said what, but the public personas of these drivers are essential to their jobs, and I don't want them to worry that what they say at the track will get them in trouble with their sponsors. That said, here they are:

I was at my annual trek to Phoenix International last year.During a practice session, a driver rolled down pit road for a plug check, motor off. As he approached his stall the un-burnt fuel ignited at the exhaust, first only a small fire, then literally engulfing the left rear of the car. I don't recall who the crew chief was at the time, but he excitedly convinced the driver to re-fire the engine, which he did, but not before recommending that he (the crew chief), "Ask (car owner's name) to wrap his lips around the exhaust to blow out the fire".

According to radio and TV (which I watched the tape of later) coverage, Mike Skinner was thought to be stinking up the field at the Spring 2000 Atlanta race. However, I was listening to Dale Earnhardt and know that wasn't really the case. There was a point when Skinner got into (then teammate) Earnhardt a little bit. I listened to Earnhardt and his spotter or crew chief relayed Skinner's apology). Earnhardt said "Hell, we've got two good race cars. One of us needs to win this thing. If he wants to lead, tell him to go ahead." But my favorite quote was when Earnhardt said of teammate Skinner, "I'll turn his ass around." Anyway, E went on to win by about 6 inches over Bobby Labonte.

At the first Michigan race this year. Some things I overheard:

[DRIVER mentions that his car is handling terribly]

Zippy: Hang in there. Just take it easy, we'll fix it at the next caution.

DRIVER: Yeah, I can (urinate) up a rope too.

-----------

[DRIVER comes on to pit road just as Andretti scrapes the wall and causes a
caution]

Zippy: Caution

DRIVER:
MOTHERFREAKER!!!

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DRIVER after Rusty easily passes him:

DRIVER: You've gotta be kidding me.

----------

DRIVER after #36 gets by him:

DRIVER: You know you're in trouble when you can't race Schrader!!

My favorite driver and funnyman) at Texas during qualifying:
I took my scanner to pit road while they were qualifying. The people I was with told me that I was wasting my time...they don't usually talk that much.

During the 3 laps around the track, my nephew and I counted three damns, 5 sh$ts, 1 g..damn, and just to make it interesting, he topped it off with 2 motherf...........
too bad, guess he didnt like texas!
p.s. i guess with the year he has been having, he deserves to say anything he wants!

I was at Nazareth this past spring for the Busch race. We tuned into Kenny Wallace's radio early in the event - while his language isn't exactly meant for children, it was downright amusing. Early in the event, the race had three cautions within the first twenty laps. On the restart after one of the early cautions, Todd Bodine was racing behind Kenny - he laid back on Kenny, hoping to jump the start a bit and pass him going into the dogleg. When the next caution came out, Kenny started yelling to his crew about Todd laying back on the restart and asked his crew chief to talk to the NASCAR rep in the pit. NASCAR agreed with Kenny, and told Bodine's crew for him to pull up behind Kenny on the restart. Kenny's spotter talked to Todd's spotter about it, and a minute later, Kenny's spotter told Kenny that Todd would start right behind him and that Todd promised that he "wouldn't Hornaday you." Also, that was the race when Jeff Purvis was critically hurt. Since the accident happened out of turn one out of our view, we turned to MRN to hear what happened. When MRN went to its first commercial, Eli Gold (who was the lead MRN announcer that day) sprang into action. During the commercial, he sternly told each pit reporter what they could and could not say on the air (going as far as coaching them on their reports), what they could report on, and who down in the pits they should talk to for information. Obviously, everyone was shaken after seeing the violence of the hit, but it was amazing how professional Eli Gold was under those circumstances.

My Favorite

This one goes back quite a few years, but I still treasure it.

Talladega, Dale Earnhardt gets almost completely sideways coming out of turn four. Miraculously saves it and only loses one position. I immediately punched up his channel on the scanner.

Silence.

Then Richard Childress, "You okay?"

Earnhardt, "I'm okay." Ten second pause. "Car's a little loose."

Then more silence.

Does that say a lot about who that man was? I was seated between turn four and the tri-oval and that slip scared the bejeesus out of me, but it didn't seem to bother Dale much at all.
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Great stories Abooja. Seems to me that with this language it would be wise to keep the scanner off the children.
 
I really like Eli Gold....I wish he would get picked up by one of the major networks. He does Alabama games during football season and is one of the better commentators I have heard.
 
If Im correct, ELI used to be one of the commentators for TNN when they had some races. I dont see why he isnt on NBC or FOX. I would take him before Bestwick anyday.
 
Originally posted by Awesome_Bill
If Im correct, ELI used to be one of the commentators for TNN when they had some races.  I dont see why he isnt on NBC or FOX.  I would take him before Bestwick anyday.
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Maybe Eli didn't want to work for NBC/TNT or FOX/FX........he would rather work for the best!! ESPN.:D
 
I loved listening to Dale on the scanner. At Darlington, he was all over Junior in BGN practice about hitting the entrance to pit road just so, because it was so slick.

Sure enough, on Sunday, who screws up? ROTFL

It took DE 2 full laps before his very quiet, almost timid voice comes back with a "sorry, guys."
 
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