Golfing Nun

Bobw

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Jan 22, 2013
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A nun walks into the Mother Superior’s office and plonks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh, heavy with frustration.

“What troubles you, Sister?” asked Mother Superior. “I thought this was the day you spent with your family.”

“It was,” sighed the Sister. “And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.”

“I seem to recall that,” Mother Superior agreed “so I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?”

“Far from it,” snorted the Sister. “In fact, I used profane language today.”

“Goodness, Sister!” gasped Mother Superior “you must tell me all about it!”

“Well, we were on the 5th tee — and this hole is a monster, Mother — 540 yard par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green … and I hit the drive of my life. The sweetest swing I’ve ever made. And it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted … and it hits a bird in mid-flight!”

“Oh my” commiserated Mother Superior. “How unfortunate. But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister.”

“No, that wasn’t it,” admitted the Sister. “While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway.”

“Oh, that would have made me blaspheme” sympathized Mother Superior.

But I didn’t, Mother!” sobbed the Sister “and I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off,with my ball still clutched in his paws.”

“So that’s when you cursed,” said Mother Superior with a knowing smile.

“Nope, that wasn’t it either,” cried the Sister, anguished, “because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green.... and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup.”

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said....

“You missed the ****king putt, didn’t you?”

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