J
janejr
Guest
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone
call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and
dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please
speak with Robyn Carter?" Suddenly a manic voice
yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!"
and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't
believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked
down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found
that I had accidentally transposed the last two
digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the
'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the
phone, I yelled "You're an a**hole!" and hung up. I
wrote his number down with the word 'a**hole' next
to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple
of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really
bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an
a**hole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my
therapeutic 'a**hole' calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see
if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I
quickly called him back and said, "That's because
you're an a**hole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull
into a parking Spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me
off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited
for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been
waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I
noticed a "For Sale " sign in his back window, so I
wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the
first a**hole (I had his number on speed dial,) I
thought that I'd better call the BMW a**hole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for
sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me
where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34
Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . It's a yellow house and
the BMW is parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?"
He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an a**hole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed
dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two
a**holes to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called a**hole #1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an a**hole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah,"
He screamed, "Stop calling me!"
I said, "Make me,"
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said,
"A**hole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , a
yellow house and I have a black Beamer parked in
front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you
had better start saying your prayers."
; I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a**hole," and
hung up.
Then I called A**hole #2. He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, a**hole,"
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your a*s,"
I answered, "Well, a**hole, here's your chance. I'm
coming over right now!"
Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax,
and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay
lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war
going down on Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax .
I quickly got into my car and headed over to
Fairfax . I got there just in time to watch two
a**holes beating the crap out of each other in front
of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and
surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does
work.
call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and
dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please
speak with Robyn Carter?" Suddenly a manic voice
yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!"
and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't
believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked
down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found
that I had accidentally transposed the last two
digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the
'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the
phone, I yelled "You're an a**hole!" and hung up. I
wrote his number down with the word 'a**hole' next
to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple
of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really
bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an
a**hole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my
therapeutic 'a**hole' calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see
if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I
quickly called him back and said, "That's because
you're an a**hole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull
into a parking Spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me
off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited
for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been
waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I
noticed a "For Sale " sign in his back window, so I
wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the
first a**hole (I had his number on speed dial,) I
thought that I'd better call the BMW a**hole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for
sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me
where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34
Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . It's a yellow house and
the BMW is parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?"
He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an a**hole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed
dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two
a**holes to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called a**hole #1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an a**hole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah,"
He screamed, "Stop calling me!"
I said, "Make me,"
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said,
"A**hole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , a
yellow house and I have a black Beamer parked in
front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you
had better start saying your prayers."
; I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a**hole," and
hung up.
Then I called A**hole #2. He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, a**hole,"
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your a*s,"
I answered, "Well, a**hole, here's your chance. I'm
coming over right now!"
Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax,
and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay
lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war
going down on Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax .
I quickly got into my car and headed over to
Fairfax . I got there just in time to watch two
a**holes beating the crap out of each other in front
of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and
surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does
work.