Helpful Tips for Idiots
* Don't throw a brick straight up.
* Don't take naps in the road.
* Walk around toxic waste dumps, not through them.
* Don't microwave yourself.
* Shovels are for digging holes in the ground, not the floor of your house.
* When using an acetylene torch, don't feel the flame to see if it's sufficiently hot.
* Walking barefoot in the sand is good. Walking barefoot on a cactus is bad.
* If you're on a ball field and someone shouts "Heads up!" don't actually raise your head up. Cover it with your arms and duck.
* No matter how tempting it is to be one with nature, stay on the outside of all fences at the zoo.
* When sticking thumb tacks into bulletin boards, press on the flat end.
* Don't throw a brick straight up.
* Don't take naps in the road.
* Walk around toxic waste dumps, not through them.
* Don't microwave yourself.
* Shovels are for digging holes in the ground, not the floor of your house.
* When using an acetylene torch, don't feel the flame to see if it's sufficiently hot.
* Walking barefoot in the sand is good. Walking barefoot on a cactus is bad.
* If you're on a ball field and someone shouts "Heads up!" don't actually raise your head up. Cover it with your arms and duck.
* No matter how tempting it is to be one with nature, stay on the outside of all fences at the zoo.
* When sticking thumb tacks into bulletin boards, press on the flat end.
:lol: