Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
> >
> >the last one is great!
> >
> >Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
> >
> >immediately take the words back...
> >
> >or that you could crawl into a hole?
> >
> >Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >FIRST TESTIMONY:
> >
> > I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
> >
> >and asked loudly,
> >
> >"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
> >
> >I turned around and walked back out and never went back
> >
> >My husband didn't say a word...
> >
> >he knew better.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >SECOND TESTIMONY:
> >
> > I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
> >
> >I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
> >
> >After browsing for several minutes,
> >
> >I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
> >
> >who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
> >
> >Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with
> >mens balls."
> >
> >
> >
> >THIRD TESTIMONY:
> >
> >My sister and I were at the mall and
> >
> >passed by a store that sold a
> >
> >variety of candy and nuts.
> >
> >As we were looking at the display case,
> >
> >the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
> >
> >I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
> >
> >My sister started to laugh hysterically.
> >
> >The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
> >
> >To this day,
> >
> >my sister has never let me forget.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >FOURTH TESTIMONY:
> >
> > While in line at the bank one afternoon,
> >
> >my toddler decided to release
> >
> >some pent-up energy and ran amok.
> >
> >I was finally able to grab hold of
> >
> >her after receiving looks of disgust
> >
> >and annoyance from other patrons.
> >
> >I told her that if she did not start behaving
> >
> >"right now" she would be punished.
> >
> >To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
> >
> >voice just as threatening,
> >
> >"If you don't let me go right now,
> >
> >I will tell Grandma that I saw you
> >
> >kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
> >
> >The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
> >
> >Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
> >
> >I mustered up the last of my dignity and
> >
> >walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
> >
> >The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me,
> >
> >were screams of laughter.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >FIFTH TESTIMONY:
> >
> > Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
> >
> >My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
> >
> >and I was on him constantly.
> >
> >One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands
> >
> >It was very busy, with a full dining room.
> >
> >While enjoying my taco,
> >
> >I smelled something funny,
> >
> >so of course I checked
> >
> >my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
> >
> >The realized that Danny
> >
> >had not asked to go potty in a while.
> >
> >I asked him if he needed to go,
> >
> >and he said "No".
> >
> >I kept thinking
> >
> >"Oh Lord, that child has had an
> >
> >accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
> >
> >Then I said,
> >
> >"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
> >
> >"No," he replied.
> >
> > I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
> >
> >because the smell was getting worse.
> >
> >Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident? This time
> >he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and
> >yelled
> >
> >"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
> >
> >While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
> >
> >he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
> >
> >An old couple made me feel better,
> >
> >thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
> >
> > This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
> >
> >and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
> >
> >in the future, likely think before she speaks.
> >
> >What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
> >
> >We had a female news anchor that,
> >
> >the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
> >
> >turned to the weatherman and asked:
> >
> >"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
> >
> >Not only did HE have to leave the set,
> >
> >but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Now, didn't that feel good?
> >
> >Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh
> >
> >and remember
> >
> >we all say things we don't really mean,
> >
> >so think before you speak
> >
> >the last one is great!
> >
> >Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
> >
> >immediately take the words back...
> >
> >or that you could crawl into a hole?
> >
> >Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >FIRST TESTIMONY:
> >
> > I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
> >
> >and asked loudly,
> >
> >"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
> >
> >I turned around and walked back out and never went back
> >
> >My husband didn't say a word...
> >
> >he knew better.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >SECOND TESTIMONY:
> >
> > I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
> >
> >I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
> >
> >After browsing for several minutes,
> >
> >I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
> >
> >who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
> >
> >Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with
> >mens balls."
> >
> >
> >
> >THIRD TESTIMONY:
> >
> >My sister and I were at the mall and
> >
> >passed by a store that sold a
> >
> >variety of candy and nuts.
> >
> >As we were looking at the display case,
> >
> >the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
> >
> >I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
> >
> >My sister started to laugh hysterically.
> >
> >The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
> >
> >To this day,
> >
> >my sister has never let me forget.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >FOURTH TESTIMONY:
> >
> > While in line at the bank one afternoon,
> >
> >my toddler decided to release
> >
> >some pent-up energy and ran amok.
> >
> >I was finally able to grab hold of
> >
> >her after receiving looks of disgust
> >
> >and annoyance from other patrons.
> >
> >I told her that if she did not start behaving
> >
> >"right now" she would be punished.
> >
> >To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
> >
> >voice just as threatening,
> >
> >"If you don't let me go right now,
> >
> >I will tell Grandma that I saw you
> >
> >kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
> >
> >The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
> >
> >Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
> >
> >I mustered up the last of my dignity and
> >
> >walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
> >
> >The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me,
> >
> >were screams of laughter.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >FIFTH TESTIMONY:
> >
> > Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
> >
> >My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
> >
> >and I was on him constantly.
> >
> >One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands
> >
> >It was very busy, with a full dining room.
> >
> >While enjoying my taco,
> >
> >I smelled something funny,
> >
> >so of course I checked
> >
> >my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
> >
> >The realized that Danny
> >
> >had not asked to go potty in a while.
> >
> >I asked him if he needed to go,
> >
> >and he said "No".
> >
> >I kept thinking
> >
> >"Oh Lord, that child has had an
> >
> >accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
> >
> >Then I said,
> >
> >"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
> >
> >"No," he replied.
> >
> > I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
> >
> >because the smell was getting worse.
> >
> >Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident? This time
> >he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and
> >yelled
> >
> >"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
> >
> >While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
> >
> >he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
> >
> >An old couple made me feel better,
> >
> >thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
> >
> > This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
> >
> >and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
> >
> >in the future, likely think before she speaks.
> >
> >What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
> >
> >We had a female news anchor that,
> >
> >the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
> >
> >turned to the weatherman and asked:
> >
> >"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
> >
> >Not only did HE have to leave the set,
> >
> >but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Now, didn't that feel good?
> >
> >Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh
> >
> >and remember
> >
> >we all say things we don't really mean,
> >
> >so think before you speak
