“Here’s Your Sign” and Which NASCAR Personalities Received One
An Opinion
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By Patty Kay
June 17, 2006
I bid you welcome gentle readers and extend my apologies for not giving you a Lady in Black column from Pocono…but I have several good excuses. First, I had a houseful of kids and grand kids that were supposed to leave for home around noon on Sunday, but that didn’t happen. In fact, my little munchkins didn’t leave until they saw the end of the Pocono race, so I spent another Sunday watching racing with two young race-fans-to-be instead of taking copious notes…but that’s not all.
My little Shih Tzu, Buddy, came down with one of those mystery diseases that dogs get from time to time (Hemorrhagic Gastroenteritis ~ it involves a lot of throwing up, diarrhea and bleeding) and spent from Friday morning until Sunday afternoon in the veterinary clinic on medications and an IV. When they called to tell me he could come home just before three on Sunday, I went to get him “immediately,” which became over an hour while all his meds were set up and explained to me and we removed the IV from his poor sore little leg. So, am I forgiven?
Going back to the weekend, the girls and I were watching one of the live racing programs…”Raceday” I think…and Mikey Waltrip was on, selling his wares as usual. (That’s why I can’t remember which program it was…Mikey is on them all these days) Anyway, my oldest Angel, Maria, (The same one that wanted to know a couple of weeks back how I could stand Larry Mac’s voice) listened to Mikey drone on about his Toy Yoyo deal and finally said, “Grandma, someone should give that guy a sign.” No, I’m not kidding you for one second. Since my daughter is her mother, she comes honestly by a love for Country music and she knows the song.
Well, that got me to thinking about doing a column based on that old Bill Engvall/Travis Tritt song, “Here’s Your Sign.” We enjoyed laughing together at a couple of those columns two or three years ago, so here then, for your amusement and enjoyment, are a few of the folks currently nominated to receive a sign, along with the beginning and chorus of the song itself, for those not into Country music. (Yes, I’m told there are a few folks that don’t derive listening pleasure from CMT ~ what a pity)
I just hate stupid people
They should have to wear signs that just say I'm stupid
That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you?
You wouldn't ask them anything
It would be like, 'Excuse me...oops, never mind
I didn't see your sign'
Why can't they get the picture?
Why don't they understand?
We're not dealing with the planet of apes
We're talking about the modern man
So you people with them itsy bitsy teensy weensy tiny minds...
Here's your sign
Since Maria already nominated Mikey, he will be the recipient of our first award of the day, primarily for trying to convince all of us that the vast fortunes behind Toyota will not be used in any way to enhance their position in NASCAR racing. According to him, all expenses involved in racing Toy Yoyos will be borne by the car owners (He will be one) with no assistance whatever from the manufacturer. Um, yeah…sure…right…
Michael Waltrip ~ “Here’s Your Sign!”
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Next to be nominated and fitted for a sign is Brian Vickers, who has been all over the racing news for the past week. This young flash, that has never won a race at the Cup level, asked for and received (perhaps with blessings) a release from his contract with Hendrick Motor Sports, despite the fact that the lad was hand picked for his ride by Rick Hendrick’s deceased son, Ricky. Rumors abound as to where Vickers might be going, including to the new Red Bull Racing Team, featuring those Toy Yoyos that aren’t going to be paying for anything. Simple logic tells me that a ride with Hendrick is worth far more than a ride anywhere else excepting perhaps Roush Racing, and Roush has one too many drivers as it is. Brian, it might be considered brave to become a pioneer and blaze new trails in racing, but I can’t believe that anyone would call it brilliant. Casey Mears, who signed a three-year contract for your old job on Wednesday said, "This is an opportunity for me to work with close friends and start fresh with one of the top organizations in all of sports. It's an exciting situation for me, both personally and professionally."
Brian Vickers ~ “Here’s Your Sign!”
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The next nomination is a multiple one involving four Chevy drivers, three from Hendrick Motorsports…Brian Vickers (again), Jimmie Johnson, Kyle Busch and Jeff Burton from Richard Childress Racing. Those four Brainiacs received speeding tickets at the Pocono race last Sunday, although the timing lines were clearly marked and were discussed in the dang drivers’ meeting. (Johnson and Burton were also on my Fantasy racing team)
Brian, Jimmie, Kyle and Jeff ~ “Here are Your Signs!”
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Since we’re harkening back to Pocono, the list would never be complete without including Carl Edwards’ jackman. I don’t even know this guy’s name, but I know he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed; in fact, I’d guess he’s about as sharp as mashed potatoes, which makes job hunting extremely difficult. You remember! When Carl came in for a green flag pit stop…from the lead…this is the Whiz Kid that dropped the car off the jack with no left side tires on it and then couldn’t get it up again. It took one minute and 13 seconds to complete what should have been a thirteen-second pit stop.
Mr. Jackman ~ “Here’s Your Sign!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did everyone enjoy watching Denny Hamlin lay a large dose of rookie talent on all of the veterans and hot shoes, even after a spin that would have taken out most drivers? A lot of the credit for that has to go to crew chief, Mike Ford, for putting back together an ugly looking racecar that could win on a drafting track. You all remember Mike. He’s one of a parade of crew chiefs that passed through the swinging doors at Robert Yates Racing last year. Allow me to take this opportunity to nominate Robert in the “I let a good one get away” category.
Robert Yates ~ “Here’s Your Sign!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Our next nomination is of a corporate nature and I came upon it while reading about the ratings from Pocono, which were well down from the same race last year. In fact, out of fourteen races, that has been the case in eleven of them. Could my grand daughter be right in saying that folks can’t stand to listen to Larry? Was there one additional commercial added that provided just too heavy a load for the camel’s back? Has Ol’ DW uttered the phrase, “The way I used to do it” one too many times for easy digestion? Has Chris Myers read from his legal pad once too often in an attempt to sound as though he actually knows of what he speaks?
Whatever the reason, the overall ratings for this year are sharply down from last year and since we’re still in the first half of the year, all of those ratings belong to FOX. Well, they’ll probably send one of their “Trained broadcast professionals” to receive the award on behalf of everyone at the network.
FOX/FX ~ “Here’s Your Sign!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We have to leave the sport of auto racing and move on to professional football for our final nomination of the day, but this was just so incredibly stupid, I couldn’t leave it out. Big Ben Roethlisberger, quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers, was injured in a motor vehicle accident on Tuesday, sustaining a concussion, a broken jaw, a broken nose and the loss of a few teeth along with numerous cuts and abrasions, most of which are located in the head and facial areas. Consider please that this man wears a helmet throughout every football game he plays yet chooses to ride without one…on a dang MOTROCYCLE! This presents a perfect case of the lights being on, but nobody home.
Ben Roethlisberger ~ “Here’s Your Sign!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now folks, don’t be fooled into thinking that’s all the stupidity there is in sports; it’s merely what I came up with in skimming the recent news. If you’ve spotted blatant stupidity along the way and would like to nominate someone for a sign, just send me the details and we’ll try to get it in print. Trust me; there’s plenty of it around.
Be well gentle readers, and remember to keep smiling. It looks so good on you!
~Patty Kay
God bless our troops!
Soldier's Angels
Visit the website; support the troops; they’re depending on us.
You can contact Patty Kay at.. Insider Racing News
The thoughts and ideas expressed by this writer or any other writer on Insider Racing News, are not necessarily the views of the staff and/or management of IRN. Although we may not always agree with what is said, we do feel it's our duty to give a voice to those who have something relevant to say about the sport of auto racing.
An Opinion
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By Patty Kay
June 17, 2006
I bid you welcome gentle readers and extend my apologies for not giving you a Lady in Black column from Pocono…but I have several good excuses. First, I had a houseful of kids and grand kids that were supposed to leave for home around noon on Sunday, but that didn’t happen. In fact, my little munchkins didn’t leave until they saw the end of the Pocono race, so I spent another Sunday watching racing with two young race-fans-to-be instead of taking copious notes…but that’s not all.
My little Shih Tzu, Buddy, came down with one of those mystery diseases that dogs get from time to time (Hemorrhagic Gastroenteritis ~ it involves a lot of throwing up, diarrhea and bleeding) and spent from Friday morning until Sunday afternoon in the veterinary clinic on medications and an IV. When they called to tell me he could come home just before three on Sunday, I went to get him “immediately,” which became over an hour while all his meds were set up and explained to me and we removed the IV from his poor sore little leg. So, am I forgiven?
Going back to the weekend, the girls and I were watching one of the live racing programs…”Raceday” I think…and Mikey Waltrip was on, selling his wares as usual. (That’s why I can’t remember which program it was…Mikey is on them all these days) Anyway, my oldest Angel, Maria, (The same one that wanted to know a couple of weeks back how I could stand Larry Mac’s voice) listened to Mikey drone on about his Toy Yoyo deal and finally said, “Grandma, someone should give that guy a sign.” No, I’m not kidding you for one second. Since my daughter is her mother, she comes honestly by a love for Country music and she knows the song.
Well, that got me to thinking about doing a column based on that old Bill Engvall/Travis Tritt song, “Here’s Your Sign.” We enjoyed laughing together at a couple of those columns two or three years ago, so here then, for your amusement and enjoyment, are a few of the folks currently nominated to receive a sign, along with the beginning and chorus of the song itself, for those not into Country music. (Yes, I’m told there are a few folks that don’t derive listening pleasure from CMT ~ what a pity)
I just hate stupid people
They should have to wear signs that just say I'm stupid
That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you?
You wouldn't ask them anything
It would be like, 'Excuse me...oops, never mind
I didn't see your sign'
Why can't they get the picture?
Why don't they understand?
We're not dealing with the planet of apes
We're talking about the modern man
So you people with them itsy bitsy teensy weensy tiny minds...
Here's your sign
Since Maria already nominated Mikey, he will be the recipient of our first award of the day, primarily for trying to convince all of us that the vast fortunes behind Toyota will not be used in any way to enhance their position in NASCAR racing. According to him, all expenses involved in racing Toy Yoyos will be borne by the car owners (He will be one) with no assistance whatever from the manufacturer. Um, yeah…sure…right…
Michael Waltrip ~ “Here’s Your Sign!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Next to be nominated and fitted for a sign is Brian Vickers, who has been all over the racing news for the past week. This young flash, that has never won a race at the Cup level, asked for and received (perhaps with blessings) a release from his contract with Hendrick Motor Sports, despite the fact that the lad was hand picked for his ride by Rick Hendrick’s deceased son, Ricky. Rumors abound as to where Vickers might be going, including to the new Red Bull Racing Team, featuring those Toy Yoyos that aren’t going to be paying for anything. Simple logic tells me that a ride with Hendrick is worth far more than a ride anywhere else excepting perhaps Roush Racing, and Roush has one too many drivers as it is. Brian, it might be considered brave to become a pioneer and blaze new trails in racing, but I can’t believe that anyone would call it brilliant. Casey Mears, who signed a three-year contract for your old job on Wednesday said, "This is an opportunity for me to work with close friends and start fresh with one of the top organizations in all of sports. It's an exciting situation for me, both personally and professionally."
Brian Vickers ~ “Here’s Your Sign!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next nomination is a multiple one involving four Chevy drivers, three from Hendrick Motorsports…Brian Vickers (again), Jimmie Johnson, Kyle Busch and Jeff Burton from Richard Childress Racing. Those four Brainiacs received speeding tickets at the Pocono race last Sunday, although the timing lines were clearly marked and were discussed in the dang drivers’ meeting. (Johnson and Burton were also on my Fantasy racing team)
Brian, Jimmie, Kyle and Jeff ~ “Here are Your Signs!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Since we’re harkening back to Pocono, the list would never be complete without including Carl Edwards’ jackman. I don’t even know this guy’s name, but I know he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed; in fact, I’d guess he’s about as sharp as mashed potatoes, which makes job hunting extremely difficult. You remember! When Carl came in for a green flag pit stop…from the lead…this is the Whiz Kid that dropped the car off the jack with no left side tires on it and then couldn’t get it up again. It took one minute and 13 seconds to complete what should have been a thirteen-second pit stop.
Mr. Jackman ~ “Here’s Your Sign!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did everyone enjoy watching Denny Hamlin lay a large dose of rookie talent on all of the veterans and hot shoes, even after a spin that would have taken out most drivers? A lot of the credit for that has to go to crew chief, Mike Ford, for putting back together an ugly looking racecar that could win on a drafting track. You all remember Mike. He’s one of a parade of crew chiefs that passed through the swinging doors at Robert Yates Racing last year. Allow me to take this opportunity to nominate Robert in the “I let a good one get away” category.
Robert Yates ~ “Here’s Your Sign!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Our next nomination is of a corporate nature and I came upon it while reading about the ratings from Pocono, which were well down from the same race last year. In fact, out of fourteen races, that has been the case in eleven of them. Could my grand daughter be right in saying that folks can’t stand to listen to Larry? Was there one additional commercial added that provided just too heavy a load for the camel’s back? Has Ol’ DW uttered the phrase, “The way I used to do it” one too many times for easy digestion? Has Chris Myers read from his legal pad once too often in an attempt to sound as though he actually knows of what he speaks?
Whatever the reason, the overall ratings for this year are sharply down from last year and since we’re still in the first half of the year, all of those ratings belong to FOX. Well, they’ll probably send one of their “Trained broadcast professionals” to receive the award on behalf of everyone at the network.
FOX/FX ~ “Here’s Your Sign!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We have to leave the sport of auto racing and move on to professional football for our final nomination of the day, but this was just so incredibly stupid, I couldn’t leave it out. Big Ben Roethlisberger, quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers, was injured in a motor vehicle accident on Tuesday, sustaining a concussion, a broken jaw, a broken nose and the loss of a few teeth along with numerous cuts and abrasions, most of which are located in the head and facial areas. Consider please that this man wears a helmet throughout every football game he plays yet chooses to ride without one…on a dang MOTROCYCLE! This presents a perfect case of the lights being on, but nobody home.
Ben Roethlisberger ~ “Here’s Your Sign!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now folks, don’t be fooled into thinking that’s all the stupidity there is in sports; it’s merely what I came up with in skimming the recent news. If you’ve spotted blatant stupidity along the way and would like to nominate someone for a sign, just send me the details and we’ll try to get it in print. Trust me; there’s plenty of it around.
Be well gentle readers, and remember to keep smiling. It looks so good on you!
~Patty Kay
God bless our troops!
Soldier's Angels
Visit the website; support the troops; they’re depending on us.
You can contact Patty Kay at.. Insider Racing News
The thoughts and ideas expressed by this writer or any other writer on Insider Racing News, are not necessarily the views of the staff and/or management of IRN. Although we may not always agree with what is said, we do feel it's our duty to give a voice to those who have something relevant to say about the sport of auto racing.
