How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

DeeDee

Team Owner
Joined
Apr 30, 2002
Messages
5,207
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Location
Ohio
:wacko:
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual
favors".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the
prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name,
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

I think 5&6 are my favorites. Anyone have some they would like to add? :cuckoo:
 
:lol: All very funny.

1.Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip..."
2.Speak only in a "robot" voice.
3.Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announcing its your property.
4.Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
5.Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
6.Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up".
7.Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think!"
8.Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
9.Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".
10.Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
11.Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid looking ignorant.
12.Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person".
13.Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
14.Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
15.Take a sock puppet to dinner with you. When the waiter comes to ask you what you want, consult the sock. When the check comes argue with the sock loud enough so everyone can hear you about who will pay the bill, throw him down and say "Fine you pay!" then leave.



I have a healthy level of insanity and everyone around me has a high tolerance for that level.
 
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