The Nextel All-Star Challenge is supposed to be one of the most exciting races of the year.
Thanks to NASCAR's hype machine, it is billed as one of the most anticipated events of the season.
Lowe's Motor Speedway, the host track, used to call it "One Hot Night."
After Saturday night's debacle, it should be called "One Big Dud."
For the sixth straight year, the all-star race left fans wanting more.
In 80 laps, there were just three passes for the lead, and one of them was in the pits. Kevin Harvick took the point on the first lap of the final 20-lap segment and held it the rest of the way.
The only fireworks were ... well, fireworks. The kind shot into the sky. No one even said a bad word or threw a helmet.
Not since 2001 has NASCAR and LMS produced a race worthy of being called an all-star event. And that year it got a little help from Mother Nature.
Rain delayed the start of the 2001 race, and after supposedly drying the track, NASCAR dropped the green flag and watched the leaders pile up in Turn 1.
Admitting their snafu, NASCAR officials allowed Jeff Gordon and others to go to the garage and either repair their cars or pull out backup cars during another delay. Gordon then returned to the track and won the race, providing the last bit of drama the all-star race has seen.
Every all-star race since then has either been a rout by Jimmie Johnson or a ho-hum victory by Matt Kenseth, Ryan Newman or Mark Martin.
Now, you can add Harvick's uneventful triumph to the list.
Maybe NASCAR should just hose down the track and drop the flag every year.
NASCAR and Nextel officials worked on spicing up this year's race, but the biggest change they came up with was adding a fourth segment. They should have eliminated a segment and put fans out of their misery.
But short of holding the race on The Dirt Track across the street, what can NASCAR do?
Since just turning NASCAR's best loose on a 1.5-mile track for $1 million isn't producing a thrilling show, maybe they can spice things up by creating a skills competition and adding a little fun.
Since what we have clearly isn't working, here's some ideas:
Eliminate the last-place car every four laps, leaving just two drivers to duke it out at the end. And to make things seem more real, Michael Waltrip could be ceremoniously eliminated before the race ever starts. And instead of the fan vote adding a driver, let the fans kick a driver out, booing him right off the starting grid.
Every few laps, the last-place car loses a crewman, leaving them short-handed for the mandatory pit stop.
Drivers should have to pit their own cars. They would drive down pit road, climb out the window, jack up the car, change their own tires, add their own fuel, climb back in the car and - about five minutes later - drive away without speeding on pit road.
After each segment, fans are allowed to throw debris onto the track. NASCAR must then run the next segment without throwing a debris caution.
To further boost fan interest, Dale Earnhardt Jr. gets to drive a different car in each segment, and his fans get to choose the car.
Since these are supposed to be the best drivers in the world, make them negotiate a bizarre obstacle course (created by master promoter Humpy Wheeler) in different types of race vehicles - stock cars, sprint cars, Indy cars, sports cars, off-road cars, Top Fuel dragsters, dune buggies and motorcycles. Then they should have to complete the competition on horseback.
Instead of the Nextel Pit Crew Challenge, there could be a Nextel Pit Crew Brawl, pitting the biggest and baddest crewmen in a Battle Royal for pit selection.
There should be some sort of competition to see who can throw the best post-wreck fit, complete with the helmet toss, the HANS device sling, the "what were you thinking" gesture and bird flipping. The top two meet Tony Stewart and Kyle Busch in the semifinals.
There should be some sort of contest for the best postrace zinger, though Harvick would likely win that one hands-down.
And since this is a family sport, there should be some sort of sideshow in which brothers must wreck each other. There are plenty of brothers to participate, and this year's Busch Bash was the best part of the show.
And what would a Nextel Cup race be without the obligatory sponsor plug. Drivers must thank as many of their sponsors as possible in 30 seconds. The winner challenges Michael Waltrip in the finals.
And if all else fails, NASCAR can just duplicate what is typically the best race of the day. Drivers must speed back to the garage, help their team load the hauler and quickly head for the exit. First one out of the infield tunnel wins.
Now that would be a compelling all-star race.
Thanks to NASCAR's hype machine, it is billed as one of the most anticipated events of the season.
Lowe's Motor Speedway, the host track, used to call it "One Hot Night."
After Saturday night's debacle, it should be called "One Big Dud."
For the sixth straight year, the all-star race left fans wanting more.
In 80 laps, there were just three passes for the lead, and one of them was in the pits. Kevin Harvick took the point on the first lap of the final 20-lap segment and held it the rest of the way.
The only fireworks were ... well, fireworks. The kind shot into the sky. No one even said a bad word or threw a helmet.
Not since 2001 has NASCAR and LMS produced a race worthy of being called an all-star event. And that year it got a little help from Mother Nature.
Rain delayed the start of the 2001 race, and after supposedly drying the track, NASCAR dropped the green flag and watched the leaders pile up in Turn 1.
Admitting their snafu, NASCAR officials allowed Jeff Gordon and others to go to the garage and either repair their cars or pull out backup cars during another delay. Gordon then returned to the track and won the race, providing the last bit of drama the all-star race has seen.
Every all-star race since then has either been a rout by Jimmie Johnson or a ho-hum victory by Matt Kenseth, Ryan Newman or Mark Martin.
Now, you can add Harvick's uneventful triumph to the list.
Maybe NASCAR should just hose down the track and drop the flag every year.
NASCAR and Nextel officials worked on spicing up this year's race, but the biggest change they came up with was adding a fourth segment. They should have eliminated a segment and put fans out of their misery.
But short of holding the race on The Dirt Track across the street, what can NASCAR do?
Since just turning NASCAR's best loose on a 1.5-mile track for $1 million isn't producing a thrilling show, maybe they can spice things up by creating a skills competition and adding a little fun.
Since what we have clearly isn't working, here's some ideas:
Eliminate the last-place car every four laps, leaving just two drivers to duke it out at the end. And to make things seem more real, Michael Waltrip could be ceremoniously eliminated before the race ever starts. And instead of the fan vote adding a driver, let the fans kick a driver out, booing him right off the starting grid.
Every few laps, the last-place car loses a crewman, leaving them short-handed for the mandatory pit stop.
Drivers should have to pit their own cars. They would drive down pit road, climb out the window, jack up the car, change their own tires, add their own fuel, climb back in the car and - about five minutes later - drive away without speeding on pit road.
After each segment, fans are allowed to throw debris onto the track. NASCAR must then run the next segment without throwing a debris caution.
To further boost fan interest, Dale Earnhardt Jr. gets to drive a different car in each segment, and his fans get to choose the car.
Since these are supposed to be the best drivers in the world, make them negotiate a bizarre obstacle course (created by master promoter Humpy Wheeler) in different types of race vehicles - stock cars, sprint cars, Indy cars, sports cars, off-road cars, Top Fuel dragsters, dune buggies and motorcycles. Then they should have to complete the competition on horseback.
Instead of the Nextel Pit Crew Challenge, there could be a Nextel Pit Crew Brawl, pitting the biggest and baddest crewmen in a Battle Royal for pit selection.
There should be some sort of competition to see who can throw the best post-wreck fit, complete with the helmet toss, the HANS device sling, the "what were you thinking" gesture and bird flipping. The top two meet Tony Stewart and Kyle Busch in the semifinals.
There should be some sort of contest for the best postrace zinger, though Harvick would likely win that one hands-down.
And since this is a family sport, there should be some sort of sideshow in which brothers must wreck each other. There are plenty of brothers to participate, and this year's Busch Bash was the best part of the show.
And what would a Nextel Cup race be without the obligatory sponsor plug. Drivers must thank as many of their sponsors as possible in 30 seconds. The winner challenges Michael Waltrip in the finals.
And if all else fails, NASCAR can just duplicate what is typically the best race of the day. Drivers must speed back to the garage, help their team load the hauler and quickly head for the exit. First one out of the infield tunnel wins.
Now that would be a compelling all-star race.