I receicved this in an email I guess it is posted on Tony's Boards. Too Funny!
Tony's now in 16th place, 437 points back. However, I looked into my crystal ball and saw that he would actually repeat as Winston Cup champion. Here's how it happens:
Matt Kenseth catches SARS.
Dale Jr's cat, Buddy Love, goes missing. Dale announces, "Some things are more important than racing. I won't race until I find my cat." Several races go by while Dale is seen pedaling his bike around Mooresville, calling, "Here, Buddy... Here, kitty, kitty..."
Kurt Busch decides he wants to help his country fight the war on terrorism, and joins the Army. He claims, "It's my patriotic duty, and I wanted to do it while I'm still young."
Jeff Gordon actually develops a taste for Pepsi, and starts drinking it in places other than victory lane. He soon develops a persistent toothache, which proves distracting.
Bobby Labonte takes a wrong turn during Kyle Petty's charity ride, and becomes lost. After running out of gas, he is forced to eat berries and tree bark to survive. He is finally discovered by children on a Sunday School picnic.
Jimmie Johnson, while making a personal appearance at a Lowe's store, blinds himself in a freak nail gun accident.
Michael Waltrip is photographed leaving a motel with Brooke Gordon. While he insists they were "just praying", the controversy causes him to lose several sponsors, and ultimately, his ride. Privately, Brooke thinks, "Ha ha, I brought down another one."
Kevin Harvick is "accidentally" backed over by Jeff Green's car in the garage area, breaking his arm.
Rusty Wallace as an owner, decides that Rusty the driver isn't getting it done, and fires himself. He's heard saying, "Sorry, but frankly you're a has-been. You just haven't won any lately. It's time we put some fresh talent in the car."
Sterling Marlin is spotted at a Dixie Chicks concert. He is fired the next day.
Ricky Craven comes to the conclusion that Jesse Jackson is correct in claiming that blacks are under-represented in Winston Cup. He offers his ride to Willy T. Ribbs.
Mark Martin, after getting caught in the "big one" at the Pepsi 400, announces he's "had it with restrictor plates", and won't race again until NASCAR eliminates them. Mike Helton responds, "We'll miss him."
Robby Gordon, after running the Indy 500, decides he really prefers Indy cars, and abandons the 31 car to take a ride in the IRL.
Joe Nemechek gets wrecked in a bizarre incident involving Hideo ***uyama and Todd Bodine. He misses several races while recuperating.
Jeff Burton wins the Powerball lottery and announces, "I never liked racing much, anyway."
Elliott Sadler is in front of Mike Helton in the line for hot dogs at Martinsville. Elliott, known for his appetite, orders several, causing the vendor to run out of hot dogs. Helton is enraged. He declares Sadler "detrimental to stock car racing" and suspends him indefinitely.
Tony's now in 16th place, 437 points back. However, I looked into my crystal ball and saw that he would actually repeat as Winston Cup champion. Here's how it happens:
Matt Kenseth catches SARS.
Dale Jr's cat, Buddy Love, goes missing. Dale announces, "Some things are more important than racing. I won't race until I find my cat." Several races go by while Dale is seen pedaling his bike around Mooresville, calling, "Here, Buddy... Here, kitty, kitty..."
Kurt Busch decides he wants to help his country fight the war on terrorism, and joins the Army. He claims, "It's my patriotic duty, and I wanted to do it while I'm still young."
Jeff Gordon actually develops a taste for Pepsi, and starts drinking it in places other than victory lane. He soon develops a persistent toothache, which proves distracting.
Bobby Labonte takes a wrong turn during Kyle Petty's charity ride, and becomes lost. After running out of gas, he is forced to eat berries and tree bark to survive. He is finally discovered by children on a Sunday School picnic.
Jimmie Johnson, while making a personal appearance at a Lowe's store, blinds himself in a freak nail gun accident.
Michael Waltrip is photographed leaving a motel with Brooke Gordon. While he insists they were "just praying", the controversy causes him to lose several sponsors, and ultimately, his ride. Privately, Brooke thinks, "Ha ha, I brought down another one."
Kevin Harvick is "accidentally" backed over by Jeff Green's car in the garage area, breaking his arm.
Rusty Wallace as an owner, decides that Rusty the driver isn't getting it done, and fires himself. He's heard saying, "Sorry, but frankly you're a has-been. You just haven't won any lately. It's time we put some fresh talent in the car."
Sterling Marlin is spotted at a Dixie Chicks concert. He is fired the next day.
Ricky Craven comes to the conclusion that Jesse Jackson is correct in claiming that blacks are under-represented in Winston Cup. He offers his ride to Willy T. Ribbs.
Mark Martin, after getting caught in the "big one" at the Pepsi 400, announces he's "had it with restrictor plates", and won't race again until NASCAR eliminates them. Mike Helton responds, "We'll miss him."
Robby Gordon, after running the Indy 500, decides he really prefers Indy cars, and abandons the 31 car to take a ride in the IRL.
Joe Nemechek gets wrecked in a bizarre incident involving Hideo ***uyama and Todd Bodine. He misses several races while recuperating.
Jeff Burton wins the Powerball lottery and announces, "I never liked racing much, anyway."
Elliott Sadler is in front of Mike Helton in the line for hot dogs at Martinsville. Elliott, known for his appetite, orders several, causing the vendor to run out of hot dogs. Helton is enraged. He declares Sadler "detrimental to stock car racing" and suspends him indefinitely.
!!!!!!!! 
