M
mlitefan01
Guest
I just got this emailed to me.....at a loss for words
Total DumbAsses
It's time once again to consider the candidates
for the annual Stella Awards.
The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck
who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds.
That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous
successful lawsuits in the United States. The following are
this year's candidates:
1.Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by
a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a
toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners
of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict,
considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
2.A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000
and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his
hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't
notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when
he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.
3.Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was
leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of
the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to
go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because
the door connecting the house and garage locked when
he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and
Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for
eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found,
and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused
him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune
of $500,000.
4.Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded
$14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the
buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The
beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The
award was less than sought because the jury felt the
dog might have been just a little provoked at the time
by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a
pellet gun.
5.A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber
Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she
slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx
(tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.
Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
earlier during an argument.
6.Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued
the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when
she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and
knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while
Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in
the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover
charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
7.This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv
Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski
purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor
home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the
freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and
calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back
and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly,
the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr.
Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the
owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The
jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The
company actually changed their manuals on the basis of
this suit, just in case there were any other
complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.
Total DumbAsses
It's time once again to consider the candidates
for the annual Stella Awards.
The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck
who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds.
That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous
successful lawsuits in the United States. The following are
this year's candidates:
1.Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by
a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a
toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners
of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict,
considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
2.A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000
and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his
hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't
notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when
he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.
3.Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was
leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of
the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to
go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because
the door connecting the house and garage locked when
he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and
Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for
eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found,
and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused
him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune
of $500,000.
4.Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded
$14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the
buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The
beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The
award was less than sought because the jury felt the
dog might have been just a little provoked at the time
by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a
pellet gun.
5.A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber
Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she
slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx
(tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.
Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
earlier during an argument.
6.Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued
the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when
she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and
knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while
Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in
the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover
charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
7.This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv
Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski
purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor
home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the
freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and
calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back
and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly,
the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr.
Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the
owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The
jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The
company actually changed their manuals on the basis of
this suit, just in case there were any other
complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.
