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I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones
that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one so I'm wearing my
garage door opener.
......................
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people
didn't like me anyway.
.......................
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on
beer cans!
.......................
I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have
something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.
.......................
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it
"Pumping Rust."
.......................
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease ... that's when your chest
is falling into your drawers!
.........................
You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have
you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"
.........................
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case
of an emergency. I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"
...........................
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while
they delivered the mail?
............................
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more
as they get older then it dawned on me . . they were cramming for their
finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones
that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one so I'm wearing my
garage door opener.
......................
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people
didn't like me anyway.
.......................
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on
beer cans!
.......................
I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have
something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.
.......................
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it
"Pumping Rust."
.......................
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease ... that's when your chest
is falling into your drawers!
.........................
You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have
you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"
.........................
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case
of an emergency. I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"
...........................
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while
they delivered the mail?
............................
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more
as they get older then it dawned on me . . they were cramming for their
finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
