In Honor of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race
is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual
label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my
hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No
purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular
soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do
not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be
hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron
clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a
car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those
forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or
outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for
the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts --
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for
this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain
with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God...was there a
lot of this happening somewhere?)
In case you needed further proof that the human race
is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual
label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my
hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No
purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular
soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do
not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be
hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron
clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a
car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those
forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or
outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for
the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts --
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for
this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain
with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God...was there a
lot of this happening somewhere?)
