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Jimmie Johnson Still the Champion
By Jacques Debris / Motorsports Writer for The Daily Movement
DAYTONA BEACH — Just in case you forgot, Jimmie Johnson is still the NASCAR champion and Dennis Hamlin and Kevin Harvick are still the first and second losers. After a lot of trash talk and nothing to show for last season, the two wannabees turned out for a news conference with the champ during testing at Daytona this past week.
Harvick was late for the meeting as his wife; DeLana was wearing the only pair of pants that the couple shares and he needed to borrow a pair from Kyle Busch. Harvick promised to return them and Kyle promised that he would also be returning the favors that Kevin gave him late in the season when he ran over him because he didn’t have the car or the driving skills to pass him.
Hamlin brought his crew chief Mike Ford, who once again read a prepared written statement boasting that the No. 11 team was superior to Johnson and company down the stretch; that their team chemistry is among the best in the Sprint Cup garage and that the team has spent the winter attending basic math classes and they will be able to calculate gas mileage this upcoming season. They also spoke about the fast lap that they turned of 196.868 mph and how they should be awarded extra points for the effort. Hamlin blabbered on in his high pitched whiney voice for about fifteen minutes telling the press corps what a great driver he is and how he would have won the championship this past year, but the sun got in his eyes one race, his dog ate his lucky underwear before another race and he broke a mirror doing a shaving commercial prior to another race.
Harvick started his part of the conference by telling the press corps that they needed to stop referring to him as “The Imitator” or he would have his wife deal with them. Harvick said that he was going to win the championship by honing his already excellent driving skills this season, running all of the Nationwide and Camping World Truck races and beating up on all the under funded and inexperienced drivers. In addition to making him feel good about himself, it would help to build ego and possibly give him some good opportunities to come up with some new sound bites when he dumped some of them when they get in his way. He said that if time permits he would also be going to Moe’s Cart World during Speedweeks and running roughshod on the snot nosed teenagers that frequent that concession. “I am the best overall driver in all the NASCAR series,” he stated, and, “if you don’t believe me, you can check with my wife!”
Jimmie Johnson didn’t get an opportunity to speak during the press conference as Hamlin and Harvick spent the remainder of the time plugging sponsor products. Jimmie was ready to concede the NASCAR Championship to both Dennis and Kevin when Chad Knaus showed up at the conference and whispered something in Jimmie’s ear. Jimmie stood up and immediately started to walk away from the conference with most of the press corps trailing behind him, recorders on, hoping to get a sound bite from him. (Harvick and Hamlin both continued to talk, oblivious to the fact no one was listening)
“What did Chad say to you?” asked a reporter as he trailed Jimmie back to the garage area.
In a very calm and relaxed voice Jimmie replied . “Six...”
By Jacques Debris / Motorsports Writer for The Daily Movement
DAYTONA BEACH — Just in case you forgot, Jimmie Johnson is still the NASCAR champion and Dennis Hamlin and Kevin Harvick are still the first and second losers. After a lot of trash talk and nothing to show for last season, the two wannabees turned out for a news conference with the champ during testing at Daytona this past week.
Harvick was late for the meeting as his wife; DeLana was wearing the only pair of pants that the couple shares and he needed to borrow a pair from Kyle Busch. Harvick promised to return them and Kyle promised that he would also be returning the favors that Kevin gave him late in the season when he ran over him because he didn’t have the car or the driving skills to pass him.
Hamlin brought his crew chief Mike Ford, who once again read a prepared written statement boasting that the No. 11 team was superior to Johnson and company down the stretch; that their team chemistry is among the best in the Sprint Cup garage and that the team has spent the winter attending basic math classes and they will be able to calculate gas mileage this upcoming season. They also spoke about the fast lap that they turned of 196.868 mph and how they should be awarded extra points for the effort. Hamlin blabbered on in his high pitched whiney voice for about fifteen minutes telling the press corps what a great driver he is and how he would have won the championship this past year, but the sun got in his eyes one race, his dog ate his lucky underwear before another race and he broke a mirror doing a shaving commercial prior to another race.
Harvick started his part of the conference by telling the press corps that they needed to stop referring to him as “The Imitator” or he would have his wife deal with them. Harvick said that he was going to win the championship by honing his already excellent driving skills this season, running all of the Nationwide and Camping World Truck races and beating up on all the under funded and inexperienced drivers. In addition to making him feel good about himself, it would help to build ego and possibly give him some good opportunities to come up with some new sound bites when he dumped some of them when they get in his way. He said that if time permits he would also be going to Moe’s Cart World during Speedweeks and running roughshod on the snot nosed teenagers that frequent that concession. “I am the best overall driver in all the NASCAR series,” he stated, and, “if you don’t believe me, you can check with my wife!”
Jimmie Johnson didn’t get an opportunity to speak during the press conference as Hamlin and Harvick spent the remainder of the time plugging sponsor products. Jimmie was ready to concede the NASCAR Championship to both Dennis and Kevin when Chad Knaus showed up at the conference and whispered something in Jimmie’s ear. Jimmie stood up and immediately started to walk away from the conference with most of the press corps trailing behind him, recorders on, hoping to get a sound bite from him. (Harvick and Hamlin both continued to talk, oblivious to the fact no one was listening)
“What did Chad say to you?” asked a reporter as he trailed Jimmie back to the garage area.
In a very calm and relaxed voice Jimmie replied . “Six...”