Julie and Jan

[StandOnIt]

Julie and Jan died and met at the pearly gates. Jan said to Julie how did you die? Julie said "I froze to death", "Oh that would be terrible" said Jan. "No, it wasn't that bad, I was cold at first and then I got sleepy like in a dream". Julie said "How did you die?" Jan said "I was convinced my husband was sleeping around on me". "I came home early, rushed into the house, and my husband was in his easy chair". "I ran upstairs and checked the bedroom, went thru all the closets, ran downstairs into the basement, looked all around there, went back up to the main floor and checked all around there, had a heart attack and dropped dead". Julie said, "we would both be alive if you had checked the freezer".

 

[Racer1930]

Two spinsters went to the Parrish Preist one day (finally) and asked the Father "what are we doing wrong?"

The Father said..."this is important young lassies...what do you want out of a man?"

One said.."I just want a good looking man who will keep a job, not drink too much and provide"

The other said.."looks aren't even that important to me...I just want a man who won't gamble away the family's money and will appreciate me".

..

...and the Father said: "excuse me...I was getting the odds on the Irish Sweepstakes.."hic"...can you repeat that?