S
sgbg88
Guest
Hey, just found this on RacingMilestones.com and loved it! He makes me laugh everytime! Hope you enjoy.
Hey, Hey y'all, what's kickin'? (If'n it's a mule like the one I got out yonder, better run.)
I got me a whole bunch to say about Sundee's racin' at Indy, so I'll get started directly...
• Could one of y'all that still believes it's the driver and not the car that makes the difference in a race, please step forward and explain Bill Elliott to the rest of us? Reckon he just all the sudden remembered how to race?
• Hats off to Rusty fer at least tryin' to hold back Bill there towards the end. How a feller like Tony Stewart can just move over -- without tryin' to block or nothin' -- with under 20 laps to go is beyond me. Maybe if the points system weren't so screwed up, and a victory meant a heckuva lot more than finishin' third, we'd see some real racin' in them situations.
• Had to go pick up my cousin Lickitung Jones over at the unemployment office today, and ya'll will never guess who I seen there... Dale Jarrett's catch-can man.
• They's callin' these things "Soft Walls" right now, but I'm fairly confident that in about 20 years they'll be re-named the Casey Atwood Walls.... honorin' all the testing he's gonna give them durin' races.
• Other than the startin' lineup, did anyone ever hear the name Ted Musgrave durin' the entire telecast? Kinda like ol' times, eh Teddy?
• Shock! Amazement!... Brett Bodine on fire again!!! Honest ya'll, that feller has caught on fire so much I hear the fire departments around the country is gonna come to the races and use his car for practice instead wastin' them wooden houses they normally practice on.
• Speakin' of Bodines, did ya'll hear Benny and the boys talkin' about Geoffrey's car bein' so loose it forced him to spin and wreck? Who would a thought a car sponsored by the Misochohoocheekoochie Indians would have an "arrow" problem?
• Did ya'll hear Sterlin' Marlin talkin' over the radio to Tony Glover? Good gosh, sounded like a re-run of the "Hee Haw Show."
• Chevy's got these commericials runnin' where Jeff Gordon wins the Tour de France, and a Corvette driver wins the Iditarod. Ya reckon Chevy will soon figure out that it ain't all that impressive that they make cars fast enough to outrun bicycles and sled dogs? What's next, a Chevy cruises to victory in the Great American Tortoise Trials?
• Ever notice that after just about everything Benny Parsons says, the very next words you hear are... "No, Benny, actually this is what's happening." Time fer new bifocals or somethin'?
• I done dated some fairly redneck girlies in my day, but even I ain't never gone out with a girl that wears Octane 93 as perfume. Come on Jeremy, get it together... will ya?
• I know these NBC folks ain't exactly brilliant, but sayin' "Bill Elliott is chasin' the biggest win of his career" on Sundee was just about as dumb as anything I heard in a long time. Ya reckon his win at Darlin'ton for the first Winston Million was big? How about a few Dayton'r 500 wins? How about any of the wins on his way to a Winston Cup championship? Geeez.
• Someone please explain how the heck NASCAR got so screwed up that they call Kurt Busch to the big trailer fer pointin' a finger at Jimmy Spencer, yet Jimmy Spencer doesn't get penalized fer knockin' Kurt Busch into the wall at nearly 200 mph. Unreal.
• Hats off to Wally Dorkenbach fer callin' NASCAR on the subject, and dynamic doodoos to NASCAR apologist Alan Worstwick fer once again walkin' the company line and tryin' to come up with excuses fer'm.
• Ya'll notice Jeff Gordon's voice is deeper when listenin' in on the radio these days? Reckon that puberty thing is settin' in?
I gotta run, ya'll. Wife just called from Wal-Mart sayin' Jimmy Spencer is behind her in line... could get messy.
Bless ya'll. See ya'll. Fudd
You can write Cuzzin Fudd - and he'll get back to you - at [email protected]
Hey, Hey y'all, what's kickin'? (If'n it's a mule like the one I got out yonder, better run.)
I got me a whole bunch to say about Sundee's racin' at Indy, so I'll get started directly...
• Could one of y'all that still believes it's the driver and not the car that makes the difference in a race, please step forward and explain Bill Elliott to the rest of us? Reckon he just all the sudden remembered how to race?
• Hats off to Rusty fer at least tryin' to hold back Bill there towards the end. How a feller like Tony Stewart can just move over -- without tryin' to block or nothin' -- with under 20 laps to go is beyond me. Maybe if the points system weren't so screwed up, and a victory meant a heckuva lot more than finishin' third, we'd see some real racin' in them situations.
• Had to go pick up my cousin Lickitung Jones over at the unemployment office today, and ya'll will never guess who I seen there... Dale Jarrett's catch-can man.
• They's callin' these things "Soft Walls" right now, but I'm fairly confident that in about 20 years they'll be re-named the Casey Atwood Walls.... honorin' all the testing he's gonna give them durin' races.
• Other than the startin' lineup, did anyone ever hear the name Ted Musgrave durin' the entire telecast? Kinda like ol' times, eh Teddy?
• Shock! Amazement!... Brett Bodine on fire again!!! Honest ya'll, that feller has caught on fire so much I hear the fire departments around the country is gonna come to the races and use his car for practice instead wastin' them wooden houses they normally practice on.
• Speakin' of Bodines, did ya'll hear Benny and the boys talkin' about Geoffrey's car bein' so loose it forced him to spin and wreck? Who would a thought a car sponsored by the Misochohoocheekoochie Indians would have an "arrow" problem?
• Did ya'll hear Sterlin' Marlin talkin' over the radio to Tony Glover? Good gosh, sounded like a re-run of the "Hee Haw Show."
• Chevy's got these commericials runnin' where Jeff Gordon wins the Tour de France, and a Corvette driver wins the Iditarod. Ya reckon Chevy will soon figure out that it ain't all that impressive that they make cars fast enough to outrun bicycles and sled dogs? What's next, a Chevy cruises to victory in the Great American Tortoise Trials?
• Ever notice that after just about everything Benny Parsons says, the very next words you hear are... "No, Benny, actually this is what's happening." Time fer new bifocals or somethin'?
• I done dated some fairly redneck girlies in my day, but even I ain't never gone out with a girl that wears Octane 93 as perfume. Come on Jeremy, get it together... will ya?
• I know these NBC folks ain't exactly brilliant, but sayin' "Bill Elliott is chasin' the biggest win of his career" on Sundee was just about as dumb as anything I heard in a long time. Ya reckon his win at Darlin'ton for the first Winston Million was big? How about a few Dayton'r 500 wins? How about any of the wins on his way to a Winston Cup championship? Geeez.
• Someone please explain how the heck NASCAR got so screwed up that they call Kurt Busch to the big trailer fer pointin' a finger at Jimmy Spencer, yet Jimmy Spencer doesn't get penalized fer knockin' Kurt Busch into the wall at nearly 200 mph. Unreal.
• Hats off to Wally Dorkenbach fer callin' NASCAR on the subject, and dynamic doodoos to NASCAR apologist Alan Worstwick fer once again walkin' the company line and tryin' to come up with excuses fer'm.
• Ya'll notice Jeff Gordon's voice is deeper when listenin' in on the radio these days? Reckon that puberty thing is settin' in?
I gotta run, ya'll. Wife just called from Wal-Mart sayin' Jimmy Spencer is behind her in line... could get messy.
Bless ya'll. See ya'll. Fudd
You can write Cuzzin Fudd - and he'll get back to you - at [email protected]
