Keselowski hoped title would lead to frolicking women

HoneyBadger

HoneyBadger

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From USA Today:


MOORESVILLE, N.C. — Back when he drove for JR Motorsports, Brad Keselowski used to live in a house on team owner Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s expansive property.

And while there were plenty of cool aspects to being neighbors with a NASCAR superstar, Keselowski couldn't help but feel the whole experience came up a bit short of his expectations.

"I just really expected I'd be pulling in the gate and there'd be women in the fountains and things like that," Keselowski said Wednesday night during a preseason media tour. "Just awesomeness! Like the Playboy mansion.

"And that didn't happen, and I was kind of like, 'Aww…'"

Keselowski felt that mild disappointment again recently after winning the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series championship. After all, his own driveway fountain — a little waterfall into a pool filled with koi fish — wasn't filled with frolicking beautiful women, either.

He didn't expect the women would show up after he became champion, he joked, "but I was hoping!"

...

Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III tweeted him in December, and Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps went out of his way to come say hello when both were attending a recent Baltimore Ravens game.

"I never really expected that, so that was really cool," he said. "I'm appreciative for that."

The celebrity Keselowski most wants to meet, though — he's made no secret of his crush on actress Jennifer Love Hewitt — hasn't indicated she wants to hang out anytime soon.

"Apparently she's busy," he said.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sport...itt-dale-earnhardt-jr-robert-griffin/1860259/
 
BobbyFord said:
Frol what?
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hef.jpg


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playboy-grotto.jpg
 
This one is a no brainer. With Fender following Brad around and screaming 'he's mine, and this bumper is the only ride he will ever need" it ain't gonna happen the women are too intimidated for intimacy. Even for a Champ in Vegas with gozillians.
 
Greg said:
This one is a no brainer. With Fender following Brad around and screaming 'he's mine, and this bumper is the only ride he will ever need" it ain't gonna happen the women are too intimidated for intimacy. Even for a Champ in Vegas with gozillians.
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ROFL!
 
There are guys on death row that get girl friend letters, a few will even meat for a visit, and some have even married.

So if Brad can't wave enough money around to even go get a weekend gold digger, or buy a trailer park honey a new Mustang (pocket change for him) that's to bad. Even Barry Bonds set a Eastern Euro babe up with a house in Phoenix for his road games strictly off autograph money (the one account his wife didn't know about or manage).
So maybe Brad needs to seek inspiration from an NBA (Nothing But Ass) player, rather than Ray Lewis.

Because to live without enjoying some tarty roses, is a sad waste of his Accomplishments. It is to have gained the world, while losing the soul.

One day some rough cut guy is going to ask Brad for his autograph, he will be uncouth perhaps un-toothed as well. But he is going to have a babe hanging on his arm that far exceeds his stature or accomplishments. That irony of the moment no doubt will inspire Brad to seek out a private spot, so he can tweet out the blues of the moment. Blues powerful enough to make the ghost of Hank Williams profoundly re-howl "I am so lonesome I could cry'.

Brad, stop wasting your life!! Boy go make some mameries while you are young, so you will have good eternal memories when you are old.
 
Greg said:
There are guys on death row that get girl friend letters, a few will even meat for a visit, and some have even married.

So if Brad can't wave enough money around to even go get a weekend gold digger, or buy a trailer park honey a new Mustang (pocket change for him) that's to bad. Even Barry Bonds set a Eastern Euro babe up with a house in Phoenix for his road games strictly off autograph money (the one account his wife didn't know about or manage).
So maybe Brad needs to seek inspiration from an NBA (Nothing But Ass) player, rather than Ray Lewis.

Because to live without enjoying some tarty roses, is a sad waste of his Accomplishments. It is to have gained the world, while losing the soul.

One day some rough cut guy is going to ask Brad for his autograph, he will be uncouth perhaps un-toothed as well. But he is going to have a babe hanging on his arm that far exceeds his stature or accomplishments. That irony of the moment no doubt will inspire Brad to seek out a private spot, so he can tweet out the blues of the moment. Blues powerful enough to make the ghost of Hank Williams profoundly re-howl "I am so lonesome I could cry'.

Brad, stop wasting your life!! Boy go make some mameries while you are young, so you will have good eternal memories when you are old.
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That was deep
 
This is a no-brainer, first off Brad's sponsored by a beer company which means his home should be full of it, hell the pool should be full of suds. Now then hire a DJ & start inviting people over, people with vaginas...
 
Restrictor Plate King! said:
This is a no-brainer, first off Brad's sponsored by a beer company which means his home should be full of it, hell the pool should be full of suds. Now then hire a DJ & start inviting people over, people with vaginas...
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Just check the numbers to be sure it's original equipment.
 
Apparently Kez forgot to read the fine print, "Fine ass hones is not included with Championship, may be sold separately, licenses and trademarked by NASCAR and Sprint mobile."
 
I think Brad and Kim Coons were made for each other. Get going, Mr. Keselowski, and focus on that trophy.
 
Zerkfitting said:
He'll start dating his starter wife soon.
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That was the way it was back in the day . Drivers would arrive at Cup level married to some big assed gal from the home town with no teeth and saggin boobs . They would start meeting and hangin out with the pretty media reps , marketing reps , and reporters until one of them became wife #2. Nowadays drivers seem to arrive with very pretty wives who can hold their own.I think all that changed with Kim Burton.:D
 
ted@economy said:
That was the way it was back in the day . Drivers would arrive at Cup level married to some big assed gal from the home town with no teeth and saggin boobs . They would start meeting and hangin out with the pretty media reps , marketing reps , and reporters until one of them became wife #2. Nowadays drivers seem to arrive with very pretty wives who can hold their own.I think all that changed with Kim Burton.:D
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Have no fear. Justin Allgaier has carried on the old traditions.
 
Funny , I looked up Mike Skinner a while back because Angie just doesn't sound like a 'first wife' on the radio.
 
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