ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu
that you could have an
order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a
half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at
the counter
"You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine,
or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half
dozen nuggets,
but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head
and ordered six McNuggets
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few
items and
the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to
mine.
I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by
the cash register
and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get
mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked
up the "divider",
looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan
it.
Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know
how much this is?"
I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy that today."
She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her
floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to
what she was doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
asking for a credit card number,
so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside
her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I
should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get
into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy,"
she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over
there and check
about the batteries. It's a long walk." (she had no clue
either!)
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
swift
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and
said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank
piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five
"blank" copies.
SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large
motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in
dire need of repair
and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in
"Twister."
I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that
the driver had
set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to
make a sandwich.
SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the
central office
of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when
they have problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
one of the branch banks
who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the
back of my terminal.
Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT
Police in Radnor , Pa . interrogated a suspect by
placing a metal colander on
his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine. The message
"He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time
they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working,
the suspect confessed.
NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if
she needs to take her
kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give
the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine.
The mother says, "Okay, but, I just gave him some ant
killer..... "
Dispatcher: "Rush him in to emergency room!"
Life is tough .
It's tougher if you're stupid
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu
that you could have an
order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a
half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at
the counter
"You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine,
or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half
dozen nuggets,
but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head
and ordered six McNuggets
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few
items and
the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to
mine.
I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by
the cash register
and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get
mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked
up the "divider",
looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan
it.
Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know
how much this is?"
I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy that today."
She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her
floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to
what she was doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
asking for a credit card number,
so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside
her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I
should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get
into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy,"
she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over
there and check
about the batteries. It's a long walk." (she had no clue
either!)
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
swift
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and
said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank
piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five
"blank" copies.
SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large
motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in
dire need of repair
and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in
"Twister."
I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that
the driver had
set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to
make a sandwich.
SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the
central office
of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when
they have problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
one of the branch banks
who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the
back of my terminal.
Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT
Police in Radnor , Pa . interrogated a suspect by
placing a metal colander on
his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine. The message
"He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time
they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working,
the suspect confessed.
NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if
she needs to take her
kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give
the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine.
The mother says, "Okay, but, I just gave him some ant
killer..... "
Dispatcher: "Rush him in to emergency room!"
Life is tough .
It's tougher if you're stupid
