WOMEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?'
I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. > As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set > in her purse.> 'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.> 'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I > figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) > I know I'm not going to understand women.> I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, > pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,> and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife > Grace listened to the instructor, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know > each other's likes and dislikes.' > He addressed the man,'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'> Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, > isn't it?
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS>
A man walks into a p harmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. > The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. > He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.> She directs him down the correct aisle.> A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string > on the counter.> She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your > wife? He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the > store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco > and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.So, I figure > if I have to roll my own .......... so does she. > (I figure this guy is the one on the milk ca rton!)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not sayin g a word.> An earlier discussion had led to an argument and > neither of them wanted to concede their position.> As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked > sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' > 'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
WORDS>
A husband read an article to his wife about how m any words women use a day... > 30,000 to a man's 15,000. > The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to > men...> The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
CREATION> >
A man said to his wife one day , 'I don't know how you can be > so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. > 'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.> God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;> God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you
WHO DOES WHAT >
A man and his wife were havi ng an argument about who > should brew the coffee each morning.> The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, > and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.> The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and > you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.' > Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides,it is in the Bible that the man > should do the coffee.'> Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'> So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top > of several pages, that it indeed says .......... 'HE BREWS'
The Silent Treatment>
A man and his wife were having som e problems at home and were giving each other > the silent treatment.> Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him > at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight. > Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),he wrote on a piece > of paper,> 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.> The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had > missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't > wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. > The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'> Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before > the masterpiece > > >
'Cash, check or charge?'
I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. > As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set > in her purse.> 'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.> 'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I > figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) > I know I'm not going to understand women.> I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, > pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,> and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife > Grace listened to the instructor, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know > each other's likes and dislikes.' > He addressed the man,'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'> Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, > isn't it?
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS>
A man walks into a p harmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. > The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. > He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.> She directs him down the correct aisle.> A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string > on the counter.> She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your > wife? He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the > store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco > and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.So, I figure > if I have to roll my own .......... so does she. > (I figure this guy is the one on the milk ca rton!)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not sayin g a word.> An earlier discussion had led to an argument and > neither of them wanted to concede their position.> As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked > sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' > 'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
WORDS>
A husband read an article to his wife about how m any words women use a day... > 30,000 to a man's 15,000. > The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to > men...> The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
CREATION> >
A man said to his wife one day , 'I don't know how you can be > so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. > 'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.> God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;> God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you
WHO DOES WHAT >
A man and his wife were havi ng an argument about who > should brew the coffee each morning.> The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, > and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.> The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and > you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.' > Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides,it is in the Bible that the man > should do the coffee.'> Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'> So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top > of several pages, that it indeed says .......... 'HE BREWS'
The Silent Treatment>
A man and his wife were having som e problems at home and were giving each other > the silent treatment.> Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him > at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight. > Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),he wrote on a piece > of paper,> 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.> The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had > missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't > wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. > The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'> Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before > the masterpiece > > >