LITTLE VITO
On Math
A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence,
and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on Little Vito.
He replies, "None. They will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your
thinking."
Then, Little Vito says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three
women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
top and sucking the cone The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which
one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Vito replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
LITTLE VITO ON MATH
Little Vito returns from school, and he says he got an "F" in
arithmetic.
"Why?" asks Little Vito's father?
"The teacher asked me: 'How much is 2x3'?. I said '6," replies Little
Vito.
"But that's right!" says Little Vito's Dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me: "How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the f***ing difference?" asks Little Vito's father..
"That's what I said!"
LITTLE VITO ON GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
twice correctly.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought
my mother a beautiful dress, and she looked beautiful in it"
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet, and it turned out beautiful."
She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on
Little Vito. He said, "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father
that she was pregnant, and he said, "Beautiful, just f****ing beautiful!"
On Math
A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence,
and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on Little Vito.
He replies, "None. They will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your
thinking."
Then, Little Vito says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three
women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
top and sucking the cone The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which
one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Vito replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
LITTLE VITO ON MATH
Little Vito returns from school, and he says he got an "F" in
arithmetic.
"Why?" asks Little Vito's father?
"The teacher asked me: 'How much is 2x3'?. I said '6," replies Little
Vito.
"But that's right!" says Little Vito's Dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me: "How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the f***ing difference?" asks Little Vito's father..
"That's what I said!"
LITTLE VITO ON GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
twice correctly.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought
my mother a beautiful dress, and she looked beautiful in it"
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet, and it turned out beautiful."
She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on
Little Vito. He said, "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father
that she was pregnant, and he said, "Beautiful, just f****ing beautiful!"
