Man charged with battery for farting near cop

Bucky Badger

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SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. – A man has been charged with battery on a police officer for allegedly passing gas and fanning it toward a patrolman.

Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, W. Va., was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.

As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and “passed gas loudly,” the complaint said.

Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.

“The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons,” the complaint alleged.

He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.

‘I couldn’t hold it no more’
Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn’t move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.
nofarts.jpeg
 
What the hell kinda line is this?

“The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons,” the complaint alleged.


:XXROFL:

"contact of an insulting or provoking nature":D:D
 
Is this a new story? If not, it's not the first time this has happened. I know I read where a guy was arrested for the same thing well over a year ago. Maybe this is a new charge of assault with a smelly weapon. :p
 
I feel for the cop.

Have you ever hung out with the town drunk while he's sobering up? Those are some of the worst farts in the world. CIA intel says that Kim Jong-il is trying to aquire some of these farts for use in a chemical warfare attack on South Korea.

I'm surprised the Department of Homeland Security wasn't involved.

:D
 
Just like the judge who jailed the guy for 'yawning' in his courtroom this cop has no business being a cop. Both of them let the powers they have go to their head.
 
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