Subject: Maxine is my HERO.......
> 1. Maxine on "Driver Safety" - "I can't use the cell phone in the car. I
> have to keep my hands free for making gestures."
>
> 2. Maxine on "Life" - "Life is like an oven. It burns my buns."
>
> 3. Maxine on "Housework" - "I do my housework in the nude.
> It gives me a reason to never clean the mirrors or any reflective
> surfaces."
>
> 4. Maxine on "Lawn Care" - "The key to a nice-looking lawn
> is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and
> shirtless."
>
> 5. Maxine on "Body Piercing" - "I'd get my tongue pierced,
> but I still have a little bit of brain left in my head."
>
> 6. Maxine on "the Perfect Man" - "All I'm looking for is a guy
> who'll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and
> then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up
> and ready when needed."
>
> 7. Maxine on "Work" - "My performance at work has really
> improved over the years. Now I can nail a coworker with a
> paper-clip shot from a rubber band at 20 yards."
>
> 8. Maxine on "the Technology Revolution" - "My idea of
> rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice."
>
> 9. Maxine on "Aging" - "Take every birthday with a grain of
> salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large
> margarita."
> 1. Maxine on "Driver Safety" - "I can't use the cell phone in the car. I
> have to keep my hands free for making gestures."
>
> 2. Maxine on "Life" - "Life is like an oven. It burns my buns."
>
> 3. Maxine on "Housework" - "I do my housework in the nude.
> It gives me a reason to never clean the mirrors or any reflective
> surfaces."
>
> 4. Maxine on "Lawn Care" - "The key to a nice-looking lawn
> is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and
> shirtless."
>
> 5. Maxine on "Body Piercing" - "I'd get my tongue pierced,
> but I still have a little bit of brain left in my head."
>
> 6. Maxine on "the Perfect Man" - "All I'm looking for is a guy
> who'll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and
> then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up
> and ready when needed."
>
> 7. Maxine on "Work" - "My performance at work has really
> improved over the years. Now I can nail a coworker with a
> paper-clip shot from a rubber band at 20 yards."
>
> 8. Maxine on "the Technology Revolution" - "My idea of
> rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice."
>
> 9. Maxine on "Aging" - "Take every birthday with a grain of
> salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large
> margarita."
