Benevolent One
Team Owner
In the spirit of Ohio State-Michigan week, the biggest rivalry in all of sports in my opinion, here are a few of my favorite jokes about "that school up north" as Woody Hayes used to call it.
Q: Why do University of Michigan fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: Why don’t University of Michigan fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.
Q: Why did Michigan change their field from grass to artificial turf?
A: To keep the Michigan cheerleaders from grazing at half time.
Q: How do you get a Michigan grad off of your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
Q: What do Michigan and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!
Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the University of Michigan campus. That’s the last place you would expect to find a great football player.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Michigan campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Michigan library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: Why should the University of Michigan change its name to the “Opossums”?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q: What does the average University of Michigan student get on his SAT?
A: Drool
Q: How do you make University of Michigan cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours
Q: What do you get when you cross a University of Michigan fan and a pig?
A: Nothing. There’s some things that a pig will not do.
Q: How many University of Michigan freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it’s a sophomore course.
Q. What did the Michigan graduate say to the Ohio State graduate?
A. “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order, please?”
Q: Did you hear about the fire at the University of Michigan football teams library? It was a shame. All three books were burned up and one of them wasn't even completely colored yet.
Q: Why do University of Michigan fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: Why don’t University of Michigan fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.
Q: Why did Michigan change their field from grass to artificial turf?
A: To keep the Michigan cheerleaders from grazing at half time.
Q: How do you get a Michigan grad off of your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
Q: What do Michigan and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!
Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the University of Michigan campus. That’s the last place you would expect to find a great football player.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Michigan campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Michigan library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: Why should the University of Michigan change its name to the “Opossums”?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q: What does the average University of Michigan student get on his SAT?
A: Drool
Q: How do you make University of Michigan cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours
Q: What do you get when you cross a University of Michigan fan and a pig?
A: Nothing. There’s some things that a pig will not do.
Q: How many University of Michigan freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it’s a sophomore course.
Q. What did the Michigan graduate say to the Ohio State graduate?
A. “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order, please?”
Q: Did you hear about the fire at the University of Michigan football teams library? It was a shame. All three books were burned up and one of them wasn't even completely colored yet.
