97forever
Team Owner
...Out of pity for your old Dad.
True story, I related it to Dee by phone as it happened and she encouraged me to pass it on to you folks, so here goes:
Earlier this week the weather was really nasty down south. Cold and windy, nothing like up north but still damned cold.
Now almost every year when the weather gets cold, I pull out my old army jacket and manage to survive somehow.I slipped it on monday morning, and as my habit is these days headed over to Dads house for coffee before work. The sad loss of first Cassie and then Mom last year has had the effect of bringing dad and I a lot closer then we have ever been in my 40 years.Thats a good thing.
Anyway, soon as I popped in monday morning, dad started complaining about the cold weather, At age 75, he freezes when it's 70, let alone 25.
"That old jacket o'yours don't look so warm son..."
I told him it was fine, I liked wearing it,dont worry about me.
"Well, I got ya a good jacket in heah, let me fetch it for ya"(Yes, Dad talks like Whizzer will in a few years.)
Uh, sure Dad.
Dad comes back with a Denim Jacket that actually didn't look as bad as I thought it would. Hell, I liked it at first glance and no doubt, the chicks would dig it.Ahem..as the song says and all.
Anyhow....first glances can be deceptive.
"Heck, try it on!...It's gotta be warmer'n that P.O.S ya got on."
So out of respect for the elderly and remembering the old bible rule to respect your folks, I try it on.
Didn't look so bad until I actually looked at it in the mirror.
Geez. It was straight out of an apparent 'Urban cowboy' fad Dad must have went thru back in the late 70's...
"UH...It really ain't me Dad."
"Sure it is son...and it does my old heart good to know you are warm out in this awful weather."
Damn the luck. What would my hero Dave Barry say at a time like this?
"Dad, it's really nice...uh, when did you wear it?"
"Aww s***, I cain't rightly remember.Anyhow you keep warm out yonder today."
Yeah sure.
I did manage to make it thru the day wearing Porter Waggoner's old jacket.Complete with 5 inch collar, sorta like Elvis in blue jeans.
That evening I go back to Dad's to pick up my kids, who stay with him after school.Soon as they saw me it was pretty clear the jacket from hell was gonna have to go.
"Dad...this jacket really don't fit too good. You can have it back."
"Bull****! It looks like it was made for ya!"
"Ok. But it's really too nice to wear out to work. Maybe I should just wear it out on special occasions."
Man, but I am smart.
Unfortunately, Dad was pretty slick himself.
"Well, hell son, if'n ya don't like it just toss it in the trash...."He said with a crushed look on his face.
Now the thing about Dad, and I am nothing like him in this respect of course, is you can never tell when he's serious or when he's shooting you a line of BS.
So day two and the laughter at work is even louder. "hey Elvis" or "where's yore horse" were just about more than I could handle...
That evening, I show up at Dad's---minus the jacket from hell.
"You are gonna freeze son! Where's yore nice jacket I give ya?"(Dad ain't too grammatical, to put it kindly.)
Thinking fast, I went over my carefully rehearsed lines.
"Dad...I'm afraid it was stolen today." I tried my best to look heartbroken.
"Stolen eh?What kinda idiot would steal a jacket that damned ugly!"At this both Dad and the kids broke into a round of real knee slapping laughter.
I wasn't that amused.
"That was real funny Dad. Ha ha. Where did you get that damned thing anyway?" I asked...knowing I had been played like a bass fiddle.
"Oh, from yore cousin Sheila.....she left it here when she decided to give up her feminine side a few years back..."
Best not to ask why she did that.Although she always was a tomboy as a kid....
"So, I have been wearing, not only a ridiculous 1978 model jacket--but a chicks jacket as well huh?"No wonder the guys at work were laughing. I wondered why the zipper was on the wrong side...
"Hell, look at the bright side though son: you ain't ever complained about them boots I give ya last month!" More laughter,good thing I am a real damned good sport.
Damn the luck. If you wait till your folks get old to spend time with 'em kids: THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO!
True story, I related it to Dee by phone as it happened and she encouraged me to pass it on to you folks, so here goes:
Earlier this week the weather was really nasty down south. Cold and windy, nothing like up north but still damned cold.
Now almost every year when the weather gets cold, I pull out my old army jacket and manage to survive somehow.I slipped it on monday morning, and as my habit is these days headed over to Dads house for coffee before work. The sad loss of first Cassie and then Mom last year has had the effect of bringing dad and I a lot closer then we have ever been in my 40 years.Thats a good thing.
Anyway, soon as I popped in monday morning, dad started complaining about the cold weather, At age 75, he freezes when it's 70, let alone 25.
"That old jacket o'yours don't look so warm son..."
I told him it was fine, I liked wearing it,dont worry about me.
"Well, I got ya a good jacket in heah, let me fetch it for ya"(Yes, Dad talks like Whizzer will in a few years.)
Uh, sure Dad.
Dad comes back with a Denim Jacket that actually didn't look as bad as I thought it would. Hell, I liked it at first glance and no doubt, the chicks would dig it.Ahem..as the song says and all.
Anyhow....first glances can be deceptive.
"Heck, try it on!...It's gotta be warmer'n that P.O.S ya got on."
So out of respect for the elderly and remembering the old bible rule to respect your folks, I try it on.
Didn't look so bad until I actually looked at it in the mirror.
Geez. It was straight out of an apparent 'Urban cowboy' fad Dad must have went thru back in the late 70's...
"UH...It really ain't me Dad."
"Sure it is son...and it does my old heart good to know you are warm out in this awful weather."
Damn the luck. What would my hero Dave Barry say at a time like this?
"Dad, it's really nice...uh, when did you wear it?"
"Aww s***, I cain't rightly remember.Anyhow you keep warm out yonder today."
Yeah sure.
I did manage to make it thru the day wearing Porter Waggoner's old jacket.Complete with 5 inch collar, sorta like Elvis in blue jeans.
That evening I go back to Dad's to pick up my kids, who stay with him after school.Soon as they saw me it was pretty clear the jacket from hell was gonna have to go.
"Dad...this jacket really don't fit too good. You can have it back."
"Bull****! It looks like it was made for ya!"
"Ok. But it's really too nice to wear out to work. Maybe I should just wear it out on special occasions."
Man, but I am smart.
Unfortunately, Dad was pretty slick himself.
"Well, hell son, if'n ya don't like it just toss it in the trash...."He said with a crushed look on his face.
Now the thing about Dad, and I am nothing like him in this respect of course, is you can never tell when he's serious or when he's shooting you a line of BS.
So day two and the laughter at work is even louder. "hey Elvis" or "where's yore horse" were just about more than I could handle...
That evening, I show up at Dad's---minus the jacket from hell.
"You are gonna freeze son! Where's yore nice jacket I give ya?"(Dad ain't too grammatical, to put it kindly.)
Thinking fast, I went over my carefully rehearsed lines.
"Dad...I'm afraid it was stolen today." I tried my best to look heartbroken.
"Stolen eh?What kinda idiot would steal a jacket that damned ugly!"At this both Dad and the kids broke into a round of real knee slapping laughter.
I wasn't that amused.
"That was real funny Dad. Ha ha. Where did you get that damned thing anyway?" I asked...knowing I had been played like a bass fiddle.
"Oh, from yore cousin Sheila.....she left it here when she decided to give up her feminine side a few years back..."
Best not to ask why she did that.Although she always was a tomboy as a kid....
"So, I have been wearing, not only a ridiculous 1978 model jacket--but a chicks jacket as well huh?"No wonder the guys at work were laughing. I wondered why the zipper was on the wrong side...
"Hell, look at the bright side though son: you ain't ever complained about them boots I give ya last month!" More laughter,good thing I am a real damned good sport.
Damn the luck. If you wait till your folks get old to spend time with 'em kids: THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO!
that you didn't want to hurt your dad's feelings
