People. Seriously. This is not the Wild West. There are rules for these things. And the rules clearly state that you CANNOT give yourself a nickname. Period. End of story.
If people could just run around giving themselves nicknames willy nilly, then I would have called myself "Hung Solo" a looooooooong time ago. But I haven't, because I can't. It's just not right. There's something inauthentic about it all. Something self-promotional and narcissistic. My nickname is Cochise. I've had it since birth. Would I have chosen differently? Probably. But I didn't. So I shut up and embrace it. I love it. It's MINE. And I can't change it.
Because, quite frankly, you can't be objective about yourself. YOU don't have enough distance from YOU to know what you're really like. No matter what, you're just going to give yourself a cool nickname, something that identifies you as you'd like the world to see you rather than the cold, harsh reality of what you actually are.
So to those who insist we call you by a name you've given yourself, whether it be The King Of Pop, "Dr." Laura, or Mr. Maverick... I'm telling you, THE JIG IS UP!!!!!! OBEY THE RULES! Otherwise,
it just makes you seem like a dick.
Trust me. This is for your own good.
Signed,
Keith "Pimpalicious" Powell