PUNS Love'em or leave's

Whizzer

Gig'em
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
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11,288
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NJ to NC to FL
WHO DREAMS THESE UP?.............A lexophile of course!

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro - what a rip off!
• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
 
I got fired from the calendar factory, I don't know why, I only took a couple of days off!
 
I filled out a job application at Polaroid but nothing developed.
 
If I may speak frankly, I much prefer bratwurst to hot dogs.
 
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
 
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