A donkey had an IQ of 186. He had no friends at all though. Even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass.
Why did the Chicken cross the road?
To show the Armadillo it could be done.
How do you tell the difference between a cow and a bull?
Milk them both. The one that smiles is the bull.
What does it mean when the Easter Bunny arrives one day late with melted candy?
He probably had a bad hare day.
How does a rabbit make gold soup?
He begins with 24 carrots.
What do you get when you pour boiling hot water down a rabbit hole?
Hot cross bunnies.
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear?
Because when he tried to make a second one he made a boo-boo.
What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Give him a tight jersey.
Laughing stock -- cattle with a sense of humor
Did you hear about the Veterinarian and the Taxidermist who combined their business?
Their slogan: "Either way you get your pet back."
What happens when a bomb goes off in the middle of a herd of cows?
Udder destruction!
What do you get when you cross a python with a porcupine?
Ten feet of barbed wire.
What goes peck, peck, peck, boom?
A chicken in a mine field.
What goes, "99-thump, 99-thump, 99-thump"?
A centipede with a wooden leg.
What disease can you get from kissing birds?
Chirpes! (A canareal disease, but it's untweetable.)
Why does a tiger have stripes?
So he won't be spotted.
What do you call a cat who does tricks?
A magic kit.
What kind of work does a weak cat do?
Light mouse work.
Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens?
Because she wanted to mail a litter.
Which state has a lot of dogs and cats?
Petsylvania.
Why should you walk carefully when it's raining cats and dogs?
You might step in a poodle.
Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse?
Catch.
What do English cats drink in the afternoon?
Kit-tea.
Where did the kittens go on their class trip?
To a mewseum.
How do you call a barber cat?
Yell..."Hair Kitty!"
What did the man say when the steamroller ran over his cat?
Nothing. He just stood there with a long puss.
What did the doe say as she came running out of the brush?
"That's the LAST time I do THAT for two bucks!"
Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
Because they have cotton balls.
What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle?
Beef Strokenoff.
Why did the Chicken cross the road?
To show the Armadillo it could be done.
How do you tell the difference between a cow and a bull?
Milk them both. The one that smiles is the bull.
What does it mean when the Easter Bunny arrives one day late with melted candy?
He probably had a bad hare day.
How does a rabbit make gold soup?
He begins with 24 carrots.
What do you get when you pour boiling hot water down a rabbit hole?
Hot cross bunnies.
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear?
Because when he tried to make a second one he made a boo-boo.
What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Give him a tight jersey.
Laughing stock -- cattle with a sense of humor
Did you hear about the Veterinarian and the Taxidermist who combined their business?
Their slogan: "Either way you get your pet back."
What happens when a bomb goes off in the middle of a herd of cows?
Udder destruction!
What do you get when you cross a python with a porcupine?
Ten feet of barbed wire.
What goes peck, peck, peck, boom?
A chicken in a mine field.
What goes, "99-thump, 99-thump, 99-thump"?
A centipede with a wooden leg.
What disease can you get from kissing birds?
Chirpes! (A canareal disease, but it's untweetable.)
Why does a tiger have stripes?
So he won't be spotted.
What do you call a cat who does tricks?
A magic kit.
What kind of work does a weak cat do?
Light mouse work.
Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens?
Because she wanted to mail a litter.
Which state has a lot of dogs and cats?
Petsylvania.
Why should you walk carefully when it's raining cats and dogs?
You might step in a poodle.
Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse?
Catch.
What do English cats drink in the afternoon?
Kit-tea.
Where did the kittens go on their class trip?
To a mewseum.
How do you call a barber cat?
Yell..."Hair Kitty!"
What did the man say when the steamroller ran over his cat?
Nothing. He just stood there with a long puss.
What did the doe say as she came running out of the brush?
"That's the LAST time I do THAT for two bucks!"
Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
Because they have cotton balls.
What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle?
Beef Strokenoff.
