C
cutiepie24
Guest
Real Women vs Ladies
LADIES- If you accidentally over-salt a dish while
it's still cooking; drop in a peeled potato and it
will absorb the excess salt for an instant
"fix-me-up."
REAL WOMEN- If you over-salt a dish while you are
cooking; that's too damn bad. Please recite with me,
The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it
and I don't care how bad it tastes."
************************************************
LADIES- Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in
half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will
go away.
REAL WOMEN- Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill
and drink. You might still have the headache, but who
cares!
*************************************************
LADIES- Stuff a miniature marshmallow at the bottom of
a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
REAL WOMEN- Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom
of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying
your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.
**************************************************
LADIES- To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple
in the bag with the potatoes.
REAL WOMEN- Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't
have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and
legs.
**************************************************
LADIES- When a cake recipe calls for flouring the
baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and
there won't be any white mess on the inside of the
cake.
REAL WOMEN- Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate
the sonofabitch for you.
**********************************************
LADIES- Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust
before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
REAL WOMEN- Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do
not include brushing egg whites, so I don't do it.
***********************************************
LADIES- If you have a problem opening jars, try using
latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip
that makes opening jars easy.
REAL WOMEN- Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.
************************************************
And finally the most important tip....
LADIES- Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and
sauces.
REAL WOMEN- Leftover wine??
*************************************************
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...
BUT, a TRUE FRIEND will be sitting next to you saying,
"Damn...that was fun!"
LADIES- If you accidentally over-salt a dish while
it's still cooking; drop in a peeled potato and it
will absorb the excess salt for an instant
"fix-me-up."
REAL WOMEN- If you over-salt a dish while you are
cooking; that's too damn bad. Please recite with me,
The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it
and I don't care how bad it tastes."
************************************************
LADIES- Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in
half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will
go away.
REAL WOMEN- Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill
and drink. You might still have the headache, but who
cares!
*************************************************
LADIES- Stuff a miniature marshmallow at the bottom of
a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
REAL WOMEN- Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom
of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying
your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.
**************************************************
LADIES- To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple
in the bag with the potatoes.
REAL WOMEN- Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't
have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and
legs.
**************************************************
LADIES- When a cake recipe calls for flouring the
baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and
there won't be any white mess on the inside of the
cake.
REAL WOMEN- Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate
the sonofabitch for you.
**********************************************
LADIES- Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust
before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
REAL WOMEN- Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do
not include brushing egg whites, so I don't do it.
***********************************************
LADIES- If you have a problem opening jars, try using
latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip
that makes opening jars easy.
REAL WOMEN- Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.
************************************************
And finally the most important tip....
LADIES- Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and
sauces.
REAL WOMEN- Leftover wine??
*************************************************
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...
BUT, a TRUE FRIEND will be sitting next to you saying,
"Damn...that was fun!"
