8
#84 NVRA
Guest
We always hear "the Rules" as stated from the females. Now here are the Rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note they are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work a toilet seat. Your a big gril. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the changing of the tides or the full moon. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question you ask of us.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thats what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a Doctor.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret grils, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think your fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you mad, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. All Men see in 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. we have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask "what is wrong" and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want to hear the answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss racing, valve lift or Monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape, Round is a shape.
1. To the Women, thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I'll have to sleep on the couch for awhile, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's kind of like camping.
1. Learn to work a toilet seat. Your a big gril. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the changing of the tides or the full moon. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question you ask of us.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thats what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a Doctor.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret grils, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think your fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you mad, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. All Men see in 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. we have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask "what is wrong" and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want to hear the answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss racing, valve lift or Monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape, Round is a shape.
1. To the Women, thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I'll have to sleep on the couch for awhile, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's kind of like camping.
Bravo
