I asked a Chinese girl for her telephone number. She replied: "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight." I said, "WOW!" My friend said, "she means three - three - three - three - six - two - nine." Why can't you hear a psychiatrist use the bathroom? Because the "p" is silent. What's long and hard and full of seamen. A submarine. What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? A piece of a$$ that will bring a tear to your eye. What did the elephant say to the naked man? That's cute. But can you breath through it? What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold onto your nuts. This is gonna be one helluva blow job! Three guys went on a skiing trip and had to share the bed. Around two in the morning, the one on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, "DAMN! I just had the most wild and vivid dream. I dreamed I was getting a hand job." The guy on the left side of the bed says, "That's funny. I had the same dream!" The guy in the middle said, "Man, that's funny! I dreamed I was skiing." Who was the worlds first carpenter? Eve. She made Adam's banana stand. How do you kill a circus clown? Go for the juggler. (play on words) And finally ................... Why is sex like playing bridge? If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. BUDDA BOOM!!