R
reckless
Guest
where on earth did you find this Fudd feller cause I would sure like to read more of his stuff.
S
sgbg88
Guest
I picked up Racingmilestones magazine one time and loved it. Then I went to their website Racingmilestones.com and he has more stories in there. He does a new one each week. He's very funny and I always love what he writes. He has a good one on Dega. Glad you liked it.
sgbs88,
that was a great story from dover. my favs were #4 & #5. Great stuff, if you get a chance, post some more!
that was a great story from dover. my favs were #4 & #5. Great stuff, if you get a chance, post some more!
S
sgbg88
Guest
Ask and ye shall receive. I can put more on here. If you want I can put them all on a thread just for him.
Ain't Nuthin' Like a Weekend at ol' Darlin'ton.
Hey you ol' peeps (and the young ones of ya, too). Y'all ready to talk some weekend racin' action from Darlin'ton... no holds-barred style? If'n not, go somewhere's else. If'n so, hide the children, cuz here we go....
*All weekend I just kept singin'.... Rain, rain, go away, come again another day... yeh, like on Oct. 6, 7 and 8 so the race at Talladeg'r will be washed out and we don't have to sit there on the edges of our seats hopin' this restrictor-plate crapola NASCAR has invented -- that bunches up the cars so very dangerously close -- won't result in another severe injury.
*I won't even get into what a joke the coverage is durin' rain delays -- lookin' in people's refrigerators and whatnot rather than talkin' actual racin... over and over and over. Two reasons I won't is: 1) It's a bigger joke than I could ever tell; 2) I'll make fun of the race coverage enough to make up the difference. They make it so easy.
*Speakin' of jokes, here's another case of the NASCAR suits not seein' the obvious, me pointin' it out, and a year from now or so the rule changin' (I'll bet). Because of rain, NASCAR lines the boys up by points. That's fine. They even give the points leader (on the pole in this scenario) five free points by havin' the pace car lead the field around fer the first several laps. Why give points at all fer those laps? (by the way, Sterlin didn't lead the first competitive lap). Then, to take it to another level, NASCAR lets the pace car lead the field around fer about 20 laps... meanin' the points leader (who has yet to run a competitive lap) has about 20 laps led in the event. What happens if nobody else leads more than 20 laps in the race? Well, it means even if the points leader crashes on the first competitive lap, he gets five bonus points fer leadin' the most laps. That'd be just perfect, wouldn't it? Some feller not qualifyin' and not runnin' a complete lap at full speed gettin' 10 bonus points.
*With all that rain, there was a big focus on dryin' the pits. Only differences between NASCAR and me is they use jet engines to dry their pits, and I use SpeedStick. Theirs cost $100,000 or so, and mine is around $2.50. Theirs takes 3 hours, mine takes 3 minutes.
*Boiled peanuts sold on the corners of a few gas stations on the way to Darlin'ton... man, that's pure heaven.
*How Ricky Rudd gets up fer a race these days I'll never know. A true Hall of Famer ousted from Yates, and a feller battlin' fer 25th in points when he's runnin' at his best (Sadler) comin' in to Yates. Just silly stuff.
*Anyone heard the name Bill France this year? I ain't. Folks, we got us a whole new money-hungry, fans-be-damned group runnin' the show now... ain't it grand?
*Here's my favorite thing the pit reporters -- you know, them fellers that's supposed to have some kind of inside scoop fer us -- offer us every dern weekend... "I got a chance to speak with (so-and-so driver) before the race today, and he made it very clear he and his team REALLY want to win today. Back up to you guys...." Now that's some serious reportin', ain't it? Tell ya what, find me a driver and team that don't REALLY want to win today, and I'll give ya some credit.
*Ah heck, lemme keep goin' on these broadcast bananas.... 1) They's so caught up in themselves, how long will it be ya reckon before Benny gives the Benny award to Benny? 2) Who in the world does Bill Weeeeber think he is pointin' out a mistake in the Winston Cup media guide durin' a broadcast? It ain't only classless, but it's a heck of a joke to us fans while we see them make 50 or so mistakes every dern weekend.
*Just one more thing, I promise.... Ever'time ya see Benny slobberin' all over himself, and Alan Worstwick and Waller Dinkinstack slappin' him on the back fer his incredible career, please make sure ya remember that Jeff Gordon already has just about as many back-to-back wins as Benny had single wins in his entire 20-plus year racin' career. Benny, yer Geoff Bodine with more air time... that's it... reality check big guy.
*Dale Jr. battlin' fer 15th spot in the points standin's... who'd have thunk it.
*Lookin' around the infield at Darlin'ton, I seen more confederate flags than I seen on the bumper stickers of trucks I parked fer my cousin's and my cousin's weddin' last fall.
*Fer a coupla years, I kept drawin' Bill Elliott in our racin' pool... and he'd go out there and stink up the joint. Now, Evernham put him in the fastest car on the track ever'dern week, and I draw somebody else. The way I see it, if my drawin' history repeats itself like that, Jerry Nadeau will be kickin' some tail a few years from now.
*Pretty dern sad when announcers say "Kyle Petty is havin' a great, great run today"... and he's runnin' 17th.
*Robby Gordon wrecked 13 times all by himself. Shock! Amazement! Can you believe it?... I had 11 in the pool.
*There were like eight people in victory lane Sundee, what's up with that? Knowin' NASCAR, they's probably now chargin' the crew members, family and friends $100 bucks each to come in and celebrate with the driver.
*Lastly.... I predict Jeff Gordon will not win next week, and no fewer than 50 so-called journalists will note his winless streak.
Bless y'all, see y'all....
Fudd
You can write Cuzzin Fudd - and he'll get back to you - at [email protected]
Ain't Nuthin' Like a Weekend at ol' Darlin'ton.
Hey you ol' peeps (and the young ones of ya, too). Y'all ready to talk some weekend racin' action from Darlin'ton... no holds-barred style? If'n not, go somewhere's else. If'n so, hide the children, cuz here we go....
*All weekend I just kept singin'.... Rain, rain, go away, come again another day... yeh, like on Oct. 6, 7 and 8 so the race at Talladeg'r will be washed out and we don't have to sit there on the edges of our seats hopin' this restrictor-plate crapola NASCAR has invented -- that bunches up the cars so very dangerously close -- won't result in another severe injury.
*I won't even get into what a joke the coverage is durin' rain delays -- lookin' in people's refrigerators and whatnot rather than talkin' actual racin... over and over and over. Two reasons I won't is: 1) It's a bigger joke than I could ever tell; 2) I'll make fun of the race coverage enough to make up the difference. They make it so easy.
*Speakin' of jokes, here's another case of the NASCAR suits not seein' the obvious, me pointin' it out, and a year from now or so the rule changin' (I'll bet). Because of rain, NASCAR lines the boys up by points. That's fine. They even give the points leader (on the pole in this scenario) five free points by havin' the pace car lead the field around fer the first several laps. Why give points at all fer those laps? (by the way, Sterlin didn't lead the first competitive lap). Then, to take it to another level, NASCAR lets the pace car lead the field around fer about 20 laps... meanin' the points leader (who has yet to run a competitive lap) has about 20 laps led in the event. What happens if nobody else leads more than 20 laps in the race? Well, it means even if the points leader crashes on the first competitive lap, he gets five bonus points fer leadin' the most laps. That'd be just perfect, wouldn't it? Some feller not qualifyin' and not runnin' a complete lap at full speed gettin' 10 bonus points.
*With all that rain, there was a big focus on dryin' the pits. Only differences between NASCAR and me is they use jet engines to dry their pits, and I use SpeedStick. Theirs cost $100,000 or so, and mine is around $2.50. Theirs takes 3 hours, mine takes 3 minutes.
*Boiled peanuts sold on the corners of a few gas stations on the way to Darlin'ton... man, that's pure heaven.
*How Ricky Rudd gets up fer a race these days I'll never know. A true Hall of Famer ousted from Yates, and a feller battlin' fer 25th in points when he's runnin' at his best (Sadler) comin' in to Yates. Just silly stuff.
*Anyone heard the name Bill France this year? I ain't. Folks, we got us a whole new money-hungry, fans-be-damned group runnin' the show now... ain't it grand?
*Here's my favorite thing the pit reporters -- you know, them fellers that's supposed to have some kind of inside scoop fer us -- offer us every dern weekend... "I got a chance to speak with (so-and-so driver) before the race today, and he made it very clear he and his team REALLY want to win today. Back up to you guys...." Now that's some serious reportin', ain't it? Tell ya what, find me a driver and team that don't REALLY want to win today, and I'll give ya some credit.
*Ah heck, lemme keep goin' on these broadcast bananas.... 1) They's so caught up in themselves, how long will it be ya reckon before Benny gives the Benny award to Benny? 2) Who in the world does Bill Weeeeber think he is pointin' out a mistake in the Winston Cup media guide durin' a broadcast? It ain't only classless, but it's a heck of a joke to us fans while we see them make 50 or so mistakes every dern weekend.
*Just one more thing, I promise.... Ever'time ya see Benny slobberin' all over himself, and Alan Worstwick and Waller Dinkinstack slappin' him on the back fer his incredible career, please make sure ya remember that Jeff Gordon already has just about as many back-to-back wins as Benny had single wins in his entire 20-plus year racin' career. Benny, yer Geoff Bodine with more air time... that's it... reality check big guy.
*Dale Jr. battlin' fer 15th spot in the points standin's... who'd have thunk it.
*Lookin' around the infield at Darlin'ton, I seen more confederate flags than I seen on the bumper stickers of trucks I parked fer my cousin's and my cousin's weddin' last fall.
*Fer a coupla years, I kept drawin' Bill Elliott in our racin' pool... and he'd go out there and stink up the joint. Now, Evernham put him in the fastest car on the track ever'dern week, and I draw somebody else. The way I see it, if my drawin' history repeats itself like that, Jerry Nadeau will be kickin' some tail a few years from now.
*Pretty dern sad when announcers say "Kyle Petty is havin' a great, great run today"... and he's runnin' 17th.
*Robby Gordon wrecked 13 times all by himself. Shock! Amazement! Can you believe it?... I had 11 in the pool.
*There were like eight people in victory lane Sundee, what's up with that? Knowin' NASCAR, they's probably now chargin' the crew members, family and friends $100 bucks each to come in and celebrate with the driver.
*Lastly.... I predict Jeff Gordon will not win next week, and no fewer than 50 so-called journalists will note his winless streak.
Bless y'all, see y'all....
Fudd
You can write Cuzzin Fudd - and he'll get back to you - at [email protected]