The Church Fire

Lap3Forever

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Reverend Ernest Lee Sincere here. talked to a friend of mine..Reverend Jesse Curry. Jesse went to the monthly meetin' of the County Ecumenical Association the other day. Now normally -- Jesse don't go for that kinda stuff. But the deacons talked him into it -- they said "Rev, they gonna be dividin' up the turf, spritually speakin'. You might as well get a seat at the table.

So while Jesse was there...a fire broke out in the buildin'. It was
interestin' to see the different reactions of the different denominations.


Bein' an Independent Baptist -- Jesse spoke up first. I said, "See? It's the wrath of God! I told y'all not to compromise your doctrine!"


Meanwhile, the Methodists gathered in the corner and formed a prayer chain.


The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson to pick a committee to look into the fire and submit a written report.


The Evangelicals said that the fire was the result of Secular Humanism over the last 40 years.


The Televangelists said the fire was retribution for the sins of the church.


The Quakers praised God for the blessings that fire brings.


The Lutherans posted a notice on the door: "fire is evil and exploits women and minorities."


The Roman Catholics passed a collection basket to cover the damage.


The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out of the room.


The Christian Scientists declared that the fire was all in your mind.


The Pentecostals said, "It's the Holy Spirit!"


The Willow Creek megachurch advertised it as a BBQ and sold tickets.


The Worldwide Church of God made a two-hour video and sold copies on their website and they only made enough money to cover the cost of production.


The Amish formed a bucket brigade.


Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson blamed the fire on on pagans, abortionists, feminists, homosexuals, the American Civil Liberties Union and the People for the American Way.

Finally...The church secretary went and got a fire extinguisher and put the fire out.


Did I miss anybody?


(What about the Seventh Day Adventists?)


The Seventh Day Adventists weren¹t there -- they didn¹t like the day that the meeting was held.
 
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